Worm Warrior Gifts

-You need a permit to fish here. -I'm doing okay with a worm, thank you

City Zoo: Day Care

"Davina McCall: Life at the Extreme takes a celebrity to the most extreme places on Earth!"

"Think you're pretty manly, eh? OK, put the gun down and let's have a fair fight."

'In school today, we learned about endangered species.'

Dear Santa, please can I have a powerful herbicide for Christmas. Best wishes, Adam.

"The good news is that we do have a little wiggle room."

"I just assumed that the whale we adopted would stay in the ocean."

The Worm Charmer

'Oh Darling, you must be so proud: Your first wart!'

A tortoise running along the side of the road, panting.

Monkey-artist

“...And on the ninth day God created mosquitoes, just to annoy the hell out of everyone.”

'Stop cracking and hulling his seeds. He's accustomed to working for his food.'

"Catching him was easy. Getting him through the cat door....Now that's another story."

"Go ahead if you want to: Me, I'll wait for the bears to be sated before I risk it..."

"Careful. That house has a taser."

Save the unicorn.

'My goodness,Ralph,let him have it.It's only a measly old meal worm.'

"Touché"

'Do worms feel pain? Of course not! As a matter of fact...'

'I could eat you.'

Rita's PhD defense wasn't going well."

'You see, we don't have any children, so he's kind of our baby.'

'We're a protected species and an endangered speices, but when I see a person, I don't know if he's protecting us or endangering us.'

"Man! That squirrel was jacked!"

"Come and get it!"

'Good grief! Aren't you extinct yet?'

Climate Change

'Boy, being an endangered species is quite hard: I get weighed, tagged, filmed, recorded and studied by scientists: I have no privacy...'

When cockroaches go unchecked.

'First weeds of spring.'

'Let's see. One dozen red wigglers, two dozen nightcrawlers,three dozen crickets. Want flies with that?'

"Al emerged from his man cave and saw crabgrass. That means 6 months of obsessing about crabgrass."

Emotional Support Pest