Worm Warrior Gifts

-You need a permit to fish here. -I'm doing okay with a worm, thank you

City Zoo: Day Care

"Davina McCall: Life at the Extreme takes a celebrity to the most extreme places on Earth!"

"Think you're pretty manly, eh? OK, put the gun down and let's have a fair fight."

'In school today, we learned about endangered species.'

Dear Santa, please can I have a powerful herbicide for Christmas. Best wishes, Adam.

"The good news is that we do have a little wiggle room."

The Worm Charmer

"I just assumed that the whale we adopted would stay in the ocean."

A tortoise running along the side of the road, panting.

'Stop cracking and hulling his seeds. He's accustomed to working for his food.'

“...And on the ninth day God created mosquitoes, just to annoy the hell out of everyone.”

'Oh Darling, you must be so proud: Your first wart!'

Monkey-artist

'My goodness,Ralph,let him have it.It's only a measly old meal worm.'

"Catching him was easy. Getting him through the cat door....Now that's another story."

'Do worms feel pain? Of course not! As a matter of fact...'

"Go ahead if you want to: Me, I'll wait for the bears to be sated before I risk it..."

Save the unicorn.

"Careful. That house has a taser."

"Touché"

Climate Change

'I could eat you.'

'You see, we don't have any children, so he's kind of our baby.'

Rita's PhD defense wasn't going well."

'We're a protected species and an endangered speices, but when I see a person, I don't know if he's protecting us or endangering us.'

'Good grief! Aren't you extinct yet?'

"Man! That squirrel was jacked!"

"Come and get it!"

'Boy, being an endangered species is quite hard: I get weighed, tagged, filmed, recorded and studied by scientists: I have no privacy...'

When cockroaches go unchecked.

'First weeds of spring.'

"Al emerged from his man cave and saw crabgrass. That means 6 months of obsessing about crabgrass."

Sorry, I only eat organic, fair-trade, shade-grown, biodynamic, raw dirt.

'Let's see. One dozen red wigglers, two dozen nightcrawlers,three dozen crickets. Want flies with that?'