Tenure Navigators Gifts

"Millstone is not yet a full professor."

'...we have every new employee spend time on our assembly line. Eight hours, no breaks.'

'This part was tenure.'

"I finally got tenure by publishing a research paper funded by a grant about subsidies."

Professor McWit, Didn't Publish, So Perished.

'Looks like this part of the beach has been claimed.'

"My name is Jane and I've been forty-six for 30 days."

A castaway on an island with an old TV that's washed ashore, sees two men in an approaching boat marked, 'TV Licensing'.

Even pirates have kids. 'Look, mom...no hands!'

"Intern? Oh, no. He wandered in from our day care center."

Washington Crossing the Delaware, Having Been Invited to Join the Faculty at Princeton

'You can never be too fit or too tenured.'

We like to show the endowment to newly tenured professors.

I hate these flying fish

'Niche apres tenure. Niche before and you're toast.'

"Don't just sit there. Build a boat!"

"Be careful, dear. People tend to lose control when faced with the newfound freedom of their first year of tenure."

Lew Yomp Jr: Investment Counselor & Elvis Look Alike.

'Typical male: Too proud to ask for directions or take advice! Look at us now!'

'Shark bites seem to be more numerous than ever this year.'

"It's time to break up the company!!"

Cruise ship's captain complains God didn't save his hat.

'The good news is I've got a part-time job. The bad news is I started the day with a full-time job.'

No caption. (Rowers carry an oar in four briefcases).

'Are you blokes crazy? Are you gonna listen to me or the blasted parrot?'

"Before I was Socrates, I was Socrates the adjunct professor struggling to get tenure."

"I feel sorry for kids these days - they're always being tested for something"

'Do you, Tenured, take this, Untenured, through sickness and health, to have and to hold from this day forward?'

"Harumph. Some 'sailor man.'"

"Yes you successfully removed the trip hazard, but with hindsight..."

A swordfish saws through a raft.

"Gosh and I thought it was a barbershop."

"I said I've travelled all over the world. I never said I got out of the box."

"We should make it past the rocks by nightfall, provided our luck holds."

"Today, class, I'm proud to announce my tenure."