Tenure Tracker Gifts

"Before I was Socrates, I was Socrates the adjunct professor struggling to get tenure."

Part-time, Associate, Tenured.

'This part was tenure.'

'You can never be too fit or too tenured.'

Robot University. I hear your fire-resistant now. Yeah, I was just voted tenure!

He may have a PH.D in elementary particle physics, but he's having an awful lot of trouble with the application form.

"I finally got tenure by publishing a research paper funded by a grant about subsidies."

Professor McWit, Didn't Publish, So Perished.

"Professor Van Winkle, the university has instituted Reevaluation of Tenure, time to wake up."

"Millstone is not yet a full professor."

Washington Crossing the Delaware, Having Been Invited to Join the Faculty at Princeton

"Graduates, faculty, parents, creditors..."

We like to show the endowment to newly tenured professors.

"Obama planted it."

'...... in sickness and in health, through the long lean years before tenure or perhaps no tenure, for better of for worse ......'

'Uh, we do have tenure, don't well?

You're in the Engineering Quad, Just Back Away Slowly and Find the Humanities Quad.

'Jury foreman, I'm going to assume that you've reached a verdict.'

'Do you, Tenured, take this, Untenured, through sickness and health, to have and to hold from this day forward?'

'I like it. It reminds me of my bonus development.'

"Today, class, I'm proud to announce my tenure."

'I'm just calculating the probability of my getting tenure in this university.'

(Long complicated equation) = TENURE.

"Strangely enough, you are the second one this month I have had to hire for this job!!"

"I'll read the will."

'I'm not a great fan of tenure, but in my case, my doctor prescribed it, so what could I do?'

"To succeed in my class is easy. Keep quiet, pay attention, and let me concentrate on getting tenure."

Tuition fees.

"You don't have to worry about ending up here. I have tenure."

"But 'Tibetan Sky Burial' sounded so cool."

"The 'Maurice Q. Dinkelfrost Professor of Economics' really is an endowed chair even though we made up the name just to amuse ourselves."

DNA

"Check it out! I got a phone app that tracks all my savings!"