Tenure Seeker Gifts

Professor McWit, Didn't Publish, So Perished.

He may have a PH.D in elementary particle physics, but he's having an awful lot of trouble with the application form.

"An actor, you say? Guess you caught the acting-like-a-waiter bug."

'This part was tenure.'

Day one, post grad

"I finally got tenure by publishing a research paper funded by a grant about subsidies."

'Would you feel less inferior if I made you a Colonel?'

"How would you rate your toleration for risk?"

'This stuff is all well and good son, but when are you going to get a proper job?'

"Professor Van Winkle, the university has instituted Reevaluation of Tenure, time to wake up."

'I told you I'd make you a star.'

'At least hanging around street corners reminds us we're at a crossroads in our lives.'

"Millstone is not yet a full professor."

Washington Crossing the Delaware, Having Been Invited to Join the Faculty at Princeton

'You can never be too fit or too tenured.'

We like to show the endowment to newly tenured professors.

'Please become a NHS dentist!'

"We don't have anything right now, but we'll put you on standby."

'Niche apres tenure. Niche before and you're toast.'

"This is a cover of a song that was perfect in its original form. Apologies in advance."

"This one's for me."

"Be careful, dear. People tend to lose control when faced with the newfound freedom of their first year of tenure."

'Your ad said you were looking for a people person.'

'...... in sickness and in health, through the long lean years before tenure or perhaps no tenure, for better of for worse ......'

'Uh, we do have tenure, don't well?

'...and, if I don't get a place, I'll kill myself.'

"My talent agent tells me I have the perfect face for a hand model."

"Before I was Socrates, I was Socrates the adjunct professor struggling to get tenure."

"errrm..I think I'll phone a friend."

You're in the Engineering Quad, Just Back Away Slowly and Find the Humanities Quad.

'Do you, Tenured, take this, Untenured, through sickness and health, to have and to hold from this day forward?'

"You can't cut my head off! -- I have tenure!"

'Your resume is great - but I'm always suspicious when a good man is easy to find.'

'How am I supposed to follow in your footsteps when you don't have any?'

"I love the theatre."