Tenure Dreamer Gifts

"Professor Van Winkle, the university has instituted Reevaluation of Tenure, time to wake up."

"To succeed in my class is easy. Keep quiet, pay attention, and let me concentrate on getting tenure."

I've always wanted to quit while I was ahead but the opportunity never presented itself.

"Oh, yes, and there's plenty of opportunity for advancement."

"A retired superhero's re-purposed utility belt"

'You need an education or you will wind up in some fast food place.'

"If I made as much as him, I could retire in a couple of days"

"I forsee you will have a better chance of winning the lottery than growing your testicles back."

"Lost my job. But I'm pretty sure it's around here somewhere."

Little Doctor meets Little Geneticists.

"That arrow always goes to the bottom when I walk by."

"What a tragedy... he still had two years of his super left..."

JOIN THE BOY SCOUTS HERE!, ''Trustworthy, friendly, loyal, helpful, kind, courteous, brave, thrifty, obedient and cheerful' -- This is going to look GREAT on my resume!'

'Oh yeah, your dad might be on 4-1 in this afternoon's race, but mine is on 3-1!'

"You're doing great, only thirty-one more years to go."

"I'm telling you, those are not abs!"

'I refuse to relinquish the title, 'Top Young Exec'.'

"Apparently over 50% of people never look at their pension plans!"

Why do you hate the media?

"Well, it's been nice. And obviously the £10 million win hasn't change you. . . . A mug of tea an' a couple garibaldies - as tight as ever!"

Waiting for retirement.

'Joe has been partying hard!'

'You keep outliving your old-age retirement savings!'

'I'm not sure what I want out of life, but I want a lot of it.'

'Do you have one with the number 401k? under the law averages, it's bound to be winner.'

Best Places to Retire

'Gen-Xers in their retirement years.'

"You never actually own a pension pot - you merely look after it for the next government."

'I fetch, but it hasn't helped my career any.'

'You don't get a raise with this promotion, but you do get to call your work area a 'work station' instead of a 'cubicle.''

"I've thought about retiring, but there's a great deal of gravity under this chair."

Greetings from VARICOSE VILLAGE, a Florida golfing community featuring a shopping mall, restaurants and hospitals.

The president of a company see a sign: While you were out we hit the lottery!

"We've made $7.50. Can we retire yet?"

What will the little one be? Epidemiologist? Virologist? PPE manufacturer?