Tenure Dreamer T-Shirts

"Professor Van Winkle, the university has instituted Reevaluation of Tenure, time to wake up."

"To succeed in my class is easy. Keep quiet, pay attention, and let me concentrate on getting tenure."

"Oh, yes, and there's plenty of opportunity for advancement."

"A retired superhero's re-purposed utility belt"

'You need an education or you will wind up in some fast food place.'

"I forsee you will have a better chance of winning the lottery than growing your testicles back."

"If I made as much as him, I could retire in a couple of days"

"Lost my job. But I'm pretty sure it's around here somewhere."

Little Doctor meets Little Geneticists.

"That arrow always goes to the bottom when I walk by."

"What a tragedy... he still had two years of his super left..."

JOIN THE BOY SCOUTS HERE!, ''Trustworthy, friendly, loyal, helpful, kind, courteous, brave, thrifty, obedient and cheerful' -- This is going to look GREAT on my resume!'

'Oh yeah, your dad might be on 4-1 in this afternoon's race, but mine is on 3-1!'

"You're doing great, only thirty-one more years to go."

"I'm telling you, those are not abs!"

'Joe has been partying hard!'

"Well, it's been nice. And obviously the £10 million win hasn't change you. . . . A mug of tea an' a couple garibaldies - as tight as ever!"

"Apparently over 50% of people never look at their pension plans!"

'I refuse to relinquish the title, 'Top Young Exec'.'

Waiting for retirement.

Why do you hate the media?

'You keep outliving your old-age retirement savings!'

'I'm not sure what I want out of life, but I want a lot of it.'

'Do you have one with the number 401k? under the law averages, it's bound to be winner.'

Best Places to Retire

'Gen-Xers in their retirement years.'

"You never actually own a pension pot - you merely look after it for the next government."

'You don't get a raise with this promotion, but you do get to call your work area a 'work station' instead of a 'cubicle.''

Greetings from VARICOSE VILLAGE, a Florida golfing community featuring a shopping mall, restaurants and hospitals.

What will the little one be? Epidemiologist? Virologist? PPE manufacturer?

'I fetch, but it hasn't helped my career any.'

"We've made $7.50. Can we retire yet?"

"I've thought about retiring, but there's a great deal of gravity under this chair."

The president of a company see a sign: While you were out we hit the lottery!

Professor McWit, Didn't Publish, So Perished.