Tenure Fanatic Gifts

"You can't cut my head off! -- I have tenure!"

Pete Sampras

Star Wars vs Star Trek

"And what do you do to maintain your cardiovascular fitness, Miss Holt?"

Professor McWit, Didn't Publish, So Perished.

'We can't get rid of her - she has tenure.'

"I'm Bobby. If you like the lemonade, perhaps you'd like to invest in the 'Jimmy's Lemonade' franchise, listed in NASDAQ..."

Filling up.

A General tries to get rid of peace.

Mr Punch's Illustrations to Shakspeare.

Futuristic Teenagers.

Hottest Tix in TownSpecial Mets promotion dates

Ok, I'll put in the hundred thousand for a 50% share of your St. George franchise.

"Professor Van Winkle, the university has instituted Reevaluation of Tenure, time to wake up."

'Here's your lemonade and here's some descriptive literature about my franchising opportunities.'

'He thinks there's an evil robot from the future in his closet.'

A Scotsman in a court wearing sports gear is hardly news.

"Thar be an Hallowe'easter a blowin'."

Washington Crossing the Delaware, Having Been Invited to Join the Faculty at Princeton

We like to show the endowment to newly tenured professors.

"All the atmosphere of 'Murray Mound' but in the comfort of your own home!"

Movie Franchise

"Be careful, dear. People tend to lose control when faced with the newfound freedom of their first year of tenure."

'My client's human rights have been violated by deporting him before the good weather and Andy Murray's win.'

"Why do you need to know if I've made a will?"

"I'm from the small business administration...have you ever considered franchising?"

"Bad case of 'Swivel Neck' comes from trying to watch too many games at the same time!"

'And they saved a lot of marriages when they came out with this three-piece combo unit...'

"Mmm... our situation reminds me of an Edward Lear poem..."

When psychics fight.

"We must prepare for the threat of China laying claim to Raducanu."

Hi! I height Beowulf.

"They call this a universal charger?"

'I'd like to inquire about franchise opportunities.'

The Tell-Tale Heart 2: Lost Phone On Vibrate