Tenure Aficionado Gifts

'We can't get rid of her - she has tenure.'

"You kept me awake all night, grinding your gums."

"Want to find out if you're also king of the swamp?"

'How about that? -- Lady Godiva got a bouffant!'

"To maintain proper respect for management, you have to call me 'Boss Joey!' Unless, you know, you don't want to."

All kidding aside, let me explain why I get to call you Al, yet you have to call me Dr. Kapuchnik. It's simply because I'm a psychiatrist and you're a bum. It's nothing personal. Thanks for explaining. I feel better.

Cast away in a life raft with Dr. Phil.

"Now, see here, I've been wronged! Some no-good do-nothing rat pack got me sick, and I gotta know who!"

'Wait a minute, this guy is missing a head Oh jeez, we're totally gonna crash,'

"I just finished my on-line food safety course!"

"We walked him a lot when he was a puppy. . . now he walks us."

William Tell's son wears hi-vis jacket and hard hat

"No, it's not real, but it does wonders for school bus discipline."

"I prefer the term 'barista.'"

"I hear you're the expert on loyalty."

NBA on strike.

Rational explanations

'Okay, Simms, we have a verbal agreement, but I'd like my lawyer to check it.'

"He shows enormous potential."

"Don't worry dude, that's not the intercom, here, give me the manual."

Mrs Dellarosa will teach us a catch tune about how to use the new copier.

Shipping contract.

'There hasn't been an assassination attempt all week -- what are they up to out there?'

'What are you doing?! It's inly a tradition if the ship is already sinking!'

"You can't cut my head off! -- I have tenure!"

"Still scaring kids? Are you kidding? At my age I'm lucky if I can crawl out from under the bed."

'We've listened to staff concerns about the need for more training.'

"I think the Greeks are running out of ideas."

'I've gone over the fight tapes and I think I've pinpointed your weakness.'

'Growing old gracefully ... But frantically trying to keep in step with the cost of living!'

"I was miles away - could you start again?"

'Better cover-up sweetie, you're starting to burn!'

"Look, if you can't stand the Byzantine intrigue, perhaps you should get out of the cabal."

'If you are going to the 'spray tan' salon, will you take our gate I was going to paint it.'

'And people think the running of the bulls is dangerous here in Spain.'