Tradition Aficionado Gifts

'What are you doing?! It's inly a tradition if the ship is already sinking!'

'And people think the running of the bulls is dangerous here in Spain.'

'A religious zealot denounces a toaster for working on the Sabbath'

"When are they going to change the 'feature'?"

"Take the off this minute, young lady."

"And that's when the therapist suggested… exposure therapy!"

"Want to find out if you're also king of the swamp?"

"Does dad know you're dating the guy from the Seder plate?"

"Knowing all the weather rock lore doesn't really count toward the weather badge."

Shall I be mother?

"Call yourself a fortune teller? I've never even heard of the Cairo museum!"

'How about that? -- Lady Godiva got a bouffant!'

Cold Enough to Freeze Brass Monkeys.

'How about June? -- I've always had June weddings!'

"Oh, it's a grand day for Harvard!"

"To maintain proper respect for management, you have to call me 'Boss Joey!' Unless, you know, you don't want to."

We're waiting to see if he'll see his shadow.

Poorly planned Chanukah crafts

Why did the chicken cross the road? Hang on, I'll Google it.

'Wait a minute, this guy is missing a head Oh jeez, we're totally gonna crash,'

'Why can't you do a yodel that sounds like you're making money instead of cheese?'

Fake Tropes

Paddlithic Period

William Tell's son wears hi-vis jacket and hard hat

"I prefer the term 'barista.'"

"It's a polo pony"

"Could I have a skinny, half fat caramel infued Americano with a double shot and froth. . . but without the coffee!"

Amish personal mobility scooter

Anecdote Magazine

"I know it's a little old-fashioned, but I'm a Capricorn, and I thought it would be romantic if I carried you over the cusp of our First House."

"I think the Greeks are running out of ideas."

"Oh, great, the fundamentalists are back."

A dog waits in anticipation for a man to toss a caber