Tan Aficionado Gifts

'This can't be insider trading - check out my tan.'

Sun Protection.

'Better cover-up sweetie, you're starting to burn!'

'I couldn't afford a spray tan, so I did it myself with a brush and roller.'

Cast away in a life raft with Dr. Phil.

'If you are going to the 'spray tan' salon, will you take our gate I was going to paint it.'

Mask Tan Line

Robots search for people's personal information in the cloud.

"There's smart phones and smart cars, so why can't there be smart rooms that clean themselves?"

"Meet the author"

'We have 800 beers on tap. If you want to hear all of them, you'll have to get here earlier, we close in six hours.'

'First you forget logarithms. Then you forget how to do long division. Then the multiplication table begins to go...'

"He's taught himself work-life balance."

"I need a deeper access to his brain. Only google has the records."

'As our new company logo, I'm not quite sure it's sending out the right message.'

'If only every year was an election year.'

'...and in 1/100000 of a second, it can compound the programmer's error 87,500 times.'

"If you're smart enough to design a robot to do your homework, then you're certainly smart enough to just do your homework."

Back to school.

'Let me see your portfolio of stolen ideas.'

"Hey, remember a few days ago, when all this was unacceptable?"

'Have you been 'helping the environment by supporting local produce' again?'

'Which sounds better: 'now with MORE XZ100' or 'now with LESS XZ100'?'

"We can't Sunday. We've been invited to 'you know who's' skybox."

'Henrietta is so self-confident.'

"Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity."

Beer Stall

'And if you can't find the microbrew you're looking for here, you might want to try our other store: Microbrews C to E.'

Driverless cars rage.

"I fear one day our jobs will be taken over by technology."

Man with 'Real Ale' written on t-shirt, woman with 'Real Pine' written on rolling pin

"Listen to this: 'Technology reduces the time we spend on a given task, but increases the number of tasks we're expected to do.' Sounds like a no-win situation to me!"

"But if you change your system preferences to match mine, is it really love?"

"What did you download at school today?"

'I'll blurb you if you'll blurb me.'