Telenovela Aficionado Gifts

"Que tonteria! This says they're making Spanish telenovelas for American TV! How will the characters understand each other...if they're all talking in English!"

The capture of Mexico's narcotics kingpin Joaquin "El Chapo" Guzman

"Maybe getting Carmen to give them Spanish lessons was a bad idea."

"Bond James, Bond."

Robots search for people's personal information in the cloud.

Screenwriters pitch movie to studio boss: 'It's a reinterpretation of Bicycle Thieves, that classic of Italian neo-realism. We're calling it, Dude, Where's My Chopper?'

"I caution everyone to avoid taking the first field reporter job that comes along."

"There's smart phones and smart cars, so why can't there be smart rooms that clean themselves?"

"Meet the author"

'First you forget logarithms. Then you forget how to do long division. Then the multiplication table begins to go...'

"He's taught himself work-life balance."

"I need a deeper access to his brain. Only google has the records."

Television Readers.

"No, I don’t find it funny that her first words are ‘South Park’!"

"The following programme contains scenes of a very noisy vacuum cleaner."

'If only every year was an election year.'

'...and in 1/100000 of a second, it can compound the programmer's error 87,500 times.'

"I remember when the death of the hero meant the end of the sequels. Now it marks the beginning of the prequels."

"If you're smart enough to design a robot to do your homework, then you're certainly smart enough to just do your homework."

'Let me see your portfolio of stolen ideas.'

"Hey, remember a few days ago, when all this was unacceptable?"

'I wasted half my life perched on top of a mountain in the Himalayas. Only to discover that the true meaning of life was a night in watching the box, with a few cans of lager.'

Driverless cars rage.

"Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity."

"I fear one day our jobs will be taken over by technology."

'They're just like us, except they watch more television.'

Love is when you watch television together.

"Listen to this: 'Technology reduces the time we spend on a given task, but increases the number of tasks we're expected to do.' Sounds like a no-win situation to me!"

The city of San Francisco switches from cable cars to satellite dish at a cost of only $79.99 a month for the first six months.

"You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me? Then who the heck else are you talking... you talking to me?"

'Which sounds better: 'now with MORE XZ100' or 'now with LESS XZ100'?'

"I love it when you use your 'All Things Considered' voice."

'Our regular programs will not be seen tonight, because our Station Manager is in a 'Three Stooges' mood.'