Telenovela Fan Gifts

"I waited 2 hours to see my favorite telenovela star at the super-mercado...and he didn't show up!"

"What happened to your podcast?"

"So I bet you watch a lot of novelas on Spanish TV?"

"Tia Carmen, your telenovelas are nothing but macho men fighting over beautiful women! It's the same story every day!"

In his younger days Spock was quite the comedian.

Xena: Warrior Princess, TV star, professional volleyball player.

'Uh-oh... when mom calls me by my full latin species name, I'm in big trouble.'

'Straight eye for the queer guy.'

'Mixed day on Wall Street. Economic indicators were up, but executive bonuses were down.'

'With the kind cooperation of the underworld, we present live, for the first time on TV, an actual holdup.'

Clive Anderson

TV Situations vacant.

Moses' TV guide.

"My real money comes from my TV news appearances predicting stock market rises and falls."

"Thanks Dave. I don't know about you folks, but I can feel it coming in the air tonight."

Captain Pointy No.38 - Fan club meeting a trap

"The X files...the tooth is out there"

Root 66.

Cast away in a life raft with Dr. Phil.

"Well, now we know what Letterman's doing, what are we doing?"

Liz Hurley

"Tia Carmen's Bucket List: pulling a 7-day telenovela bender."

It's on. My new favorite game show! Welcome to: Garbage, recycling or compost?! Dana from New York you can walk away with $10,000 or try to double the green! Double, please. Okay, Dana, here's your object: A takeout container from a local restaurant. Garbage, recycling or compost? Geez. I'm guessing it would depend on whether it's got some cardboard or it's fully biodegradable. Final answer? Recycling. Wrong. Garbage! I knew it. Ridicule her! You've lost your green, loser! I'm sorry. I try so ha

'Sorry, viewers, I was going to show you one I made earlier but it's been scoffed by the second assistant sound engineer.'

Good Morning Britain has just achieved something previously thought impossible...by making Piers Morgan the most likeable man on screen.

I lost as a contestant on the quiz show, but they gave me this lovely parting gift...

Remedy for the incurable romantic...

Mind control

'I stopped watching Sesame Street the second I found out it was educational.'

Tommy Cooper

"Popular astrologer and psychic Malder Tercado's contract with a national Spanish-language TV network was not renewed. Tercado was reportedly surprised by the news...saying he didn't see it coming."

Ostrich TV.

'Well, it WAS worth nine thousand dollars. Sorry about that.'

'I'd like to buy a towel.'

'If we lose the malpractice lawsuit, we can always sell it to the Bloopers Channel.'