Telenovela Fanatic Gifts

"Dios mio! Telenovela superstar Victor Guerroro is going to be at the supermercado signing autographs! Go with me!"

"Tia Carmen's answering service...can I help you? When will she be available? I'd say during the next commercial break in her telenovela."

"OK, is the American dream gonna fall in our lap...or should we turn off the telenovela and actually go work on it?"

"Tia Carmen, your telenovelas are so crazy."

"The only thing to fear...is a power outage during my telenovela!"

Cut!

"I did the math. If we want to read all of Proust in this lifetime, we have to start tomorrow morning."

'Our regular programs will not be seen tonight, because our Station Manager is in a 'Three Stooges' mood.'

Astral Projection

Friday

The First Annual Game Show Week.

"The end of my favorite series is near."

'NBC has revealed plans for a new, humorous version of The Office.'

Book Shop Plot Spoilers

Binge Watch

Miami Mice

Maps to the homes of guys with friends who know some of the limo drivers of the personal trainers of the stars.

It's only a remote, dear...if you want better programs you will need a wand.

'Ok, Bachelor number 2: What's your idea of a perfect first date?'

Haywatch

Don't touch that dial! — We're experts, and we know what you should be watching!

Pinata Zombies

As Seen Watching TV

Larry King

Morgue - "Welcome to 'Celebrity Autopsy'"

"We can deliver it Tuesday. If no one's home, we'll just slip it under the door."

Out of Context Nite with Jeremy Clarkson.

"Let's just binge watch this."

'Books are okay, except they only get one channel.'

"Ed's not really into binge watching...he just can't find the remote."

Gillian Leigh Anderson

"Now that I can watch whatever I want, whenever I want, my life has no structure."

"Binge-watching squirrels. What are you doing?"

'You did your book report on the TV schedule?'

Celebrity Clerk: Schrodinger's Cat.