Telenovela Superfan Gifts

"All I said was, do we have to watch your telenovela tonight."

Pay me not to pay 'Wonderwall'

It's nothing to worry about - many kids his age have trouble with the letter S.

Love.

"Dear, there's someone here to collect your soul."

'Then one day Ralph decided there isn't anything more important than money, and became a day trader.'

"Chills, Randy. I feel chills. And I can't move." "And I can't remember the last time my palms were this sweaty." "This must've been what people felt like when they heard the Allies were finally invading Normandy on D-Day." "No way any movie can live up to this hype." "Wolverine day is almost upon us." "We are about to embark upon the great crusade..."

'Two new NBA franchises: The 'Wall Street Bulls' and the 'Main street bears'.'

"And now, let us view sitcom star Donnie J. Kroft's reading of his will, which was videotaped before a live studio audience."

"I'm sure you want little Jimmy to have a complete set of 'Muscular Heroes of the Cosmos,' now, don't you, Mr. Bennett?"

"I'm so sorry, there is nothing I can do for him anymore...he must have been offline for at least 10 hours..."

"Tia Carmen's Bucket List: pulling a 7-day telenovela bender."

'He hibernates between superbowls.'

Back in the football stadium - without face masks and social distancing!

A man imagines flying as a superhero.

'Before I met you, I didn't know any of the sitcom characters by their first names,'

Matthew Perry.

Yeah, right, like Superman was the only flavor they had. Ice cream.

"O.K., let's see what all the fuss is about."

Die-hard soccer moms.

Soccer Fans.

'I know my electric bills are way over due, but could you at least wait until the Super Bowl is over before turning off my electricity?'

'Lenny NEVER had any problems with cramped seats at football games - like most people do.'

"Do you have any get well cards for characters on soap operas?"

"I'm pretty sure my parents' homeowners insurance will cover it."

Nate was Martha Stewart's biggest fan. 'Hi, I'm Nate. I love all your work.I can't tell you how excited I am to finally meet you!'

"Que tonteria! This says they're making Spanish telenovelas for American TV! How will the characters understand each other...if they're all talking in English!"

SEE SANTA, 'The rest of the year I'm an Elvis impersonator.'

"Says here that, since Coronation Street started, there have been 86 weddings and 124 deaths."

'I'm sorry to disturb you, but new health and safety rules prohibit me from climbing down your chimney.'

Super Bowl Monday

"How old were you before you discovered our football song wasn't the national anthem?"

"And his tell-all memoir reveals how he broke into every home and consumed over twelve thousand pounds of cookies in one evening."

'...And tune in at eleven tonight for a special report on whatever happens next!'

Last ESPN highlights next 250 miles.