Sitcom Superfan Gifts

Gary Coleman's to-do list.

Charlie Sheen

'Before I met you, I didn't know any of the sitcom characters by their first names,'

Kaley Cuoco

"And now, let us view sitcom star Donnie J. Kroft's reading of his will, which was videotaped before a live studio audience."

This is Lenny the leopard with the on-the-spot news.

'A sitcom has to be quirky or formulaic. There is no middle way.'

Applause

"I don't know if I can do 'Gilmore Girls' today. I'm not sure I'm feeling up for anything involving witty yet poignant repartee."

Comic,,,Drama,,,Laugh Track,

'-Not THE Queen Vic?'

'Now that's Real TV!'

Beam me up. Scotty!

Situation Tragedy.

Love.

'No, I've never been in a TV reality show. My reality is pretty well scripted by my wife, kids and boss.'

Haywatch

Polterguest: "When is your brother going to leave? He's driving me crazy!"

"If I had been on 'The Brady Bunch', which I wasn't, I'd have been Greg, whom I ain't"

It's nothing to worry about - many kids his age have trouble with the letter S.

'It was a very strange divorce — the judge got custody of my wife.'

Menopause and the City

John Cleese.

"Dear, there's someone here to collect your soul."

'Well, kids -- I guess it all started to fall apart when they canceled 'Seinfeld'....'

'I've seen nothing I've liked since Victor Meldrew!'

'Confused about your future, depressed, lacking confidence, not sure who you can trust...I'd suggest you avoid any election news and watch modern family instead.'

'Mom, was Dad your number one draft choice?'

John Laurie

"At this point, I think a rich lightweight would be fine."

Larry David

"If the professor on Gilligan's Island can build a computer out of a coconut, then you can build a cell tower. Take some initiative!"

"Ahhh! Ha-ha! Exactly what I said when I was pulled over. Dipstick!"

Nativity - The sitcom

'Shakespeare's Tragedies and Sitcoms.' 'The Bard sells out.'