Sitcom Fans Gifts

"I took your advice."

'I'm living in a soap opera!'

This is Lenny the leopard with the on-the-spot news.

Applause

'A sitcom has to be quirky or formulaic. There is no middle way.'

"I don't know if I can do 'Gilmore Girls' today. I'm not sure I'm feeling up for anything involving witty yet poignant repartee."

'Our regular programs will not be seen tonight, because our Station Manager is in a 'Three Stooges' mood.'

Comic,,,Drama,,,Laugh Track,

'-Not THE Queen Vic?'

'Now that's Real TV!'

Situation Tragedy.

'No, I've never been in a TV reality show. My reality is pretty well scripted by my wife, kids and boss.'

"If I had been on 'The Brady Bunch', which I wasn't, I'd have been Greg, whom I ain't"

Polterguest: "When is your brother going to leave? He's driving me crazy!"

Haywatch

'It was a very strange divorce — the judge got custody of my wife.'

'I've seen nothing I've liked since Victor Meldrew!'

"And now, let us view sitcom star Donnie J. Kroft's reading of his will, which was videotaped before a live studio audience."

"As I recall, Leonard, when we first watched 'The Honeymooners' you said that it marked the decline and fall of Western culture."

'Mom, was Dad your number one draft choice?'

"At this point, I think a rich lightweight would be fine."

'I wasn't going to destroy their country until they introduced me to the cast of 'Jersey Shore'.'

'Confused about your future, depressed, lacking confidence, not sure who you can trust...I'd suggest you avoid any election news and watch modern family instead.'

"They don't call them reruns anymore...they call them deja-views."

'Shakespeare's Tragedies and Sitcoms.' 'The Bard sells out.'

"Ahhh! Ha-ha! Exactly what I said when I was pulled over. Dipstick!"

Larry David

Nativity - The sitcom

"So I play this guy named Stan Snorkel who finds a big, gray poodle..."

"Being married to her was the most miserable experience of my life, but I was able to develop a sitcom out of it."