Sitcom Fan Gifts

Psychiatrist taps patient on head and says: 'Have you tried turning it off and turning it on again.'

'Well, kids -- I guess it all started to fall apart when they canceled 'Seinfeld'....'

'This is the first time I've ever seen a geek with a pulled muscle.'

"Most men have a tankard, but oh no, not you."

'I'm sorry I don't date during sweeps week.'

'Soup of the day, with extra flies, please.'

Rowan Atkinson.

Rowan Atkinson

'The only problem with having a laptop is you need a lap!'

'I'm referring you to my brother-in-law the dentist- I owe him one.'

Sitcom/Sitcom with laugh track.

"Work has been so stressful so full on, that I thought we needed a bit of light relief."

"Very accessible speech! I love how you referenced each salient point to a Seinfeld episode."

Mind control

"Ed's practicing his stand up routine. No, he's not a comedian...he's just standing up!"

"Ahhh! Ha-ha! Exactly what I said when I was pulled over. Dipstick!"

"All the world's a sitcom and we are but the uncredited extras."

'400 channels and the only thing good on TV is my drink.'

The zombies were halfway across the living room when they noticed that 'Friends' was on.

'His throne's in storage -- he's sitting in the original Archie Bunker chair.'

'Listen!...Do you mean to tell me that you can't hear that laugh track?'

"Not tonight I've got a headache"

'Al, when you say you want to lower my allowance, do you have a particular figure in mind?'

Nativity - The sitcom

'It's your final warning: Quit playing 'The Beverly Hillbillies' theme song.'

'No, I've never been in a TV reality show. My reality is pretty well scripted by my wife, kids and boss.'

I heard that Rex Morgan, M.D. is in the hospital

Give me a double-tall white chocolate mocha, extra whip. Put it on my tab. Ok. Just leave your credit card with me and I'll charge you before you leave. What? That's not how it works. I'm supposed to just say "put it on my tab," and then I pay for it at some indeterminate point in the future. And then you're supposed to hint about my growing tab but never ask me to pay it because we've become such good pals. Real life isn't like tv.

Ashton Kutcher's World

"If I had been on 'The Brady Bunch', which I wasn't, I'd have been Greg, whom I ain't"

"He wants you to dress up like Flo from the Progressive commercials or Flo from Mel's Diner? You know what? Never mind."

"Yes, I've seen 'Portlandia,' but I'm from Portland, Maine!"

This is Lenny the leopard with the on-the-spot news.

'A sitcom has to be quirky or formulaic. There is no middle way.'

Applause