Telenovela Aficionado Pillows

"Que tonteria! This says they're making Spanish telenovelas for American TV! How will the characters understand each other...if they're all talking in English!"

"Wow, Super-Tia! You can watch five telenovelas at the same time!"

The capture of Mexico's narcotics kingpin Joaquin "El Chapo" Guzman

"Maybe getting Carmen to give them Spanish lessons was a bad idea."

"Bond James, Bond."

Robots search for people's personal information in the cloud.

Screenwriters pitch movie to studio boss: 'It's a reinterpretation of Bicycle Thieves, that classic of Italian neo-realism. We're calling it, Dude, Where's My Chopper?'

"I caution everyone to avoid taking the first field reporter job that comes along."

"There's smart phones and smart cars, so why can't there be smart rooms that clean themselves?"

Academic Jeopardy ... 'What Was the Maiden Name of Dante Alighieri's Maternal Grandmother?'

"Meet the author"

'First you forget logarithms. Then you forget how to do long division. Then the multiplication table begins to go...'

"He's taught himself work-life balance."

"No, I don’t find it funny that her first words are ‘South Park’!"

"I need a deeper access to his brain. Only google has the records."

"The following programme contains scenes of a very noisy vacuum cleaner."

Television Readers.

'As our new company logo, I'm not quite sure it's sending out the right message.'

'If only every year was an election year.'

'...and in 1/100000 of a second, it can compound the programmer's error 87,500 times.'

"I remember when the death of the hero meant the end of the sequels. Now it marks the beginning of the prequels."

"If you're smart enough to design a robot to do your homework, then you're certainly smart enough to just do your homework."

Back to school.

"Hey, remember a few days ago, when all this was unacceptable?"

'Let me see your portfolio of stolen ideas.'

'I wasted half my life perched on top of a mountain in the Himalayas. Only to discover that the true meaning of life was a night in watching the box, with a few cans of lager.'

"I fear one day our jobs will be taken over by technology."

'We need you to settle a bet -- was 'Twilight Zone' a sitcom or a documentary?'

"Listen to this: 'Technology reduces the time we spend on a given task, but increases the number of tasks we're expected to do.' Sounds like a no-win situation to me!"

"Now we move over to the sports desk."

The city of San Francisco switches from cable cars to satellite dish at a cost of only $79.99 a month for the first six months.

'They're just like us, except they watch more television.'

"I love it when you use your 'All Things Considered' voice."

'Our regular programs will not be seen tonight, because our Station Manager is in a 'Three Stooges' mood.'

Driverless cars rage.