Lifetime Aficionado Gifts

"Has 'Lifetime' taught us nothing?"

"This is nice … let’s not hop again tomorrow."

Reach for the Star.

'He lives for his holidays.'

"Moments like this make me glad I taught you how to fetch mojitos."

The Origami Society...

'Are you sure this is authentic ancient Indian art?'

'If we have only fractional ownership, it's not a private jet anymore, is it?'

'You sent your wife to get a bottle of wine from the wine cellar? Your jet doesn't have a wine cellar.'

'Your master isn't due for release until the first of the month.'

"I'm prescribing a mild sedative. Go wine shopping and get yourself a nice Chablis."

Cat medal presentations take a long time

'Don't worry, Alice. I won't leave you.'

Jack in the Box

"I travel Prada whenever I can."

"Oh, and add a couple of intentional typos to my weekly email update...I want to appear warm and authentic!!"

"The health of Mr. Putin is very good!"

Man and woman on donkeys at the beach

"Well, what would YOU like for Christmas?"

'This scent goes well with a diamond necklace.'

"I'm supposed to be loyal, relieve stress, be 'Man's best friend'...I don't need this kind of pressure!"

'Life is a precious thing, but simply breathing and existing isn't living...the end is inevitable for everything...I'm afraid that time has come for you, dear. I have to pull the plug...'

a new hire signing a loyalty oath

'This condo is the height of luxury, The sprinkler system sprays Perrier,'

'Hmmphhhh ... High on Life. Now that's something the government ought to regulate.'

'We will conduct the background check. Our fortune, Madame Zula, will conduct a complimentary future check.'

Living my best life... ...time movie. Even the Canada posing as my world bit.

"Mrs. Barnes is to have a complete head-to-toe – she's to be the victim in a bandage-instruction class."

'How about that? -- Lady Godiva got a bouffant!'

"All the way from the new home in Rye just so she can sniff our old doorman."

A bride and her father walk down an aisle decorated with cost of the wedding.

It's obvious anniversaries are the lynchpin of the big oil conspiracy. What? Husbands forget them. Which leads to wives pummeling them. Which leads to men making sure they don't forget again. All you had to do was mark it in your calendar! What do you think pens are made of? Pummeling will now commence.

'Mr. Bigmeister likes to start each meeting with the pledge of allegiance.'

Rolls Royce House and Car

"Of course it's not a mirage - mirages don't wear Chanel No 5."