Future Aficionado Gifts

'We will conduct the background check. Our fortune, Madame Zula, will conduct a complimentary future check.'

"The trend in tough economic times is to put off everything that doesn't require immediate action ? as this chart shows."

'Now, keep in mind that these numbers are only as accurate as the fictitious data, ludicrous assumptions and wishful thinking they're based upon!'

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

Keeping all the balls in the air - skills

JOIN THE BOY SCOUTS HERE!, ''Trustworthy, friendly, loyal, helpful, kind, courteous, brave, thrifty, obedient and cheerful' -- This is going to look GREAT on my resume!'

'You'll enjoy our staff meetings. We always begin and end with the product.'

"Hello - I'm from the future..."

'I have everything a man could want - But I've still managed to hang onto my petty ambitions.'

"We come from the future and just want to say: Hey, thanks for the planet!"

Jeff Tweedy caricature.

"Elon Musk is buying rope and walnuts."

"Ambitions... to make a career change from tourism to sales."

"Yes, I'm sure you do deserve further career advancement. But if I promote you again you'll have my job!"

Jack in the Box

"My father was a Brexit negotiator and his father before him..."

"We're having a special today on bright futures."

They say animals have the sixth sense and the talent to look into the future...

'I can't say what the market's going to do, but you're going to have fourteen children.'

'Sounds like it'll flop.'

Futuristic Teenagers.

"I know I'm going to get older - but how much?"

'Right, moving on to the housekeeping...'

'We do have a property in your price range, but we need a time machine to go back and visit it!'

'He thinks there's an evil robot from the future in his closet.'

"I see you naked. A beautiful young woman is leaning over you... Oh, hang on. She's performing your autopsy."

"Our first order of business will be the new speed bump in the parking lot."

"I'm in a bad mood today: sit down!"

'I want to reach the number one spot at Google.'

"Pavlov's Blog."

Taking to the sky...

'Steeee-rike three!'

"Mrs. Barnes is to have a complete head-to-toe – she's to be the victim in a bandage-instruction class."

'I'm a simple man really beneath the code words and the black ops and the multitude of fake passports.'

"Out today due to foreseen circumstances."