Memories Aficionado Gifts

"I got this one in middle school."

"Well, how do things look from where you sit?"

Mother pours bubble bath into child's plastic pool

"OK, we may not have ways of making you talk, but we do have ways of making your leg twitch uncontrollably."

'My first camera'

"In closing, I would like to remind the jury that he says he didn't do it."

Monument in the park for Squirrel Feeder

ESP pizza: You'll get it before you order it or it's free!

Shaman reads magazine entitled 'Witch Doctor'.

'Did anyone hand in a mature stilton last week?'

'Amazing, Holmes! That's the eighth time in a row you've gotten the 'dud'!'

It's obvious anniversaries are the lynchpin of the big oil conspiracy. What? Husbands forget them. Which leads to wives pummeling them. Which leads to men making sure they don't forget again. All you had to do was mark it in your calendar! What do you think pens are made of? Pummeling will now commence.

'How about that? -- Lady Godiva got a bouffant!'

'Oh no! Political memoirs!'

'I just found out my vintage Roy Rogers lunch box is worth more than my 401k.'

"My husband is missing. I haven't seen him since he started wearing camouflage clothes."

'You're not supposed to block off an area to look for your contact lens.'

Hi again

Belated Birthday Cards

"Forget the future, tell me what happened to the past ten years."

Amnesiacs Convention.

The grave of Punch magazine.

'That reminds me - your hospital appointment is next week.'

'Wait a minute, this guy is missing a head Oh jeez, we're totally gonna crash,'

"If everyone is telling my I'm a collectible, why do I see myself as junk?"

'I'm about to say my prayers, Dad. Do you want more pocket money too?'

Happy-Go-Lucky-Father-Of-Two-Avid-Golfer-Longtime-Magnetic-Tape-Salesman-Kiwanis-Member or Thomas Pynchon?

'We know the elephant died when he jumped off the roof. But the other guy? It's a mystery.'

'This looks like the work of a surreal killer.'

'Since when did they change 50 years from 'Golden Anniversary' to 'Remote Control Anniversary?''

"I know more about art than you do, so I'll tell you what to like."

"Oh, nuts – I forgot why I came out here."

A caveman offers another a copy of, 'The Ug Issue'.

William Tell's son wears hi-vis jacket and hard hat

"Forget-me-nots! Wait. Didn't I get these last week? Who gave these to me? Wait. Why did I come in here?"