Title Aficionado Gifts

"This is Edward the Great. I don't know any Edward the Weenie."

"I prefer the term 'barista.'"

'That's 'Lord' - not 'SLUMLORD'!'

"Want to find out if you're also king of the swamp?"

"To maintain proper respect for management, you have to call me 'Boss Joey!' Unless, you know, you don't want to."

Robots search for people's personal information in the cloud.

"There's smart phones and smart cars, so why can't there be smart rooms that clean themselves?"

"Meet the author"

'First you forget logarithms. Then you forget how to do long division. Then the multiplication table begins to go...'

"He's taught himself work-life balance."

"After the show, I'll be autographing any computer or phone screens where my albums are streamed."

"I need a deeper access to his brain. Only google has the records."

'Look! The new long awaited, highly anticipated but ultimately disappointing novel by that guy you like.'

'...and in 1/100000 of a second, it can compound the programmer's error 87,500 times.'

"For heaven's sake, Ogden, it's vacation time! Must you make your little lists even on vacation time?"

"If you're smart enough to design a robot to do your homework, then you're certainly smart enough to just do your homework."

"Hey, remember a few days ago, when all this was unacceptable?"

Driverless cars rage.

"Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity."

"Listen to this: 'Technology reduces the time we spend on a given task, but increases the number of tasks we're expected to do.' Sounds like a no-win situation to me!"

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

"I fear one day our jobs will be taken over by technology."

'Instead of a raise, Yomp, you may call me 'Chief', instead of Mr Staghorn.'

"But if you change your system preferences to match mine, is it really love?"

"What did you download at school today?"

"Ralph's smart car not only drives better than he does, it also works better. So we fired him and hired the car."

'I'll blurb you if you'll blurb me.'

"He's the best our AI recruitment algorithm could fund, unfortunately our AI is really stupid."

Junk art/ food/ tv/ music/ amusements/ novels/ views/ life.

'Ugh! Another oil puddle in the living room – bad robot dog!'

Bot Art: After da Vinci

Treasure Island Book.

'Yes, it computed the answer in a bilionth of a second and printed it instantly, but until I find my glasses...'

"The robots have become self-aware and self-loathing. Now all they do is write novels."

"Of course I failed you — your essay was original and unique and obviously written by a human."