Titles Aficionado Gifts

'Why are you calling the student an 'assistant client management programme delivery facilitator'?'

"I don't know why you always have to choose the same hide-and-go-seek hiding spot that I do, Tommy!"

"After the show, I'll be autographing any computer or phone screens where my albums are streamed."

'Look! The new long awaited, highly anticipated but ultimately disappointing novel by that guy you like.'

"For heaven's sake, Ogden, it's vacation time! Must you make your little lists even on vacation time?"

Back to school.

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

'Instead of a raise, Yomp, you may call me 'Chief', instead of Mr Staghorn.'

Camping-Pong

"In my next album 'Gettin' Back', I refute all the strong beliefs expressed in 'Gettin' There', my previous album."

Greatest hits, Greatest Misses.

'Nice, but it needs more angst.'

"Want to find out if you're also king of the swamp?"

Baptism Then and Now

Antler Buzzers.

"I got my PhD in Nursing just so people would have to call me Doctor."

"Knowing all the weather rock lore doesn't really count toward the weather badge."

"...and you call yourself a computational immunotox-pharmacological an-diffracctiion bimolecular therapeutic ononclonal-antibody genomic metabolic-endocrinologist."

"I've heard that you two don't have enough to do."

"To maintain proper respect for management, you have to call me 'Boss Joey!' Unless, you know, you don't want to."

All kidding aside, let me explain why I get to call you Al, yet you have to call me Dr. Kapuchnik. It's simply because I'm a psychiatrist and you're a bum. It's nothing personal. Thanks for explaining. I feel better.

'How about that? -- Lady Godiva got a bouffant!'

'Then again, who says we can't call it a mangelwurzel?'

"Certainly. A party of four at seven-thirty in the name of Dr. Jennings. May I ask whether that is an actual medical degree or a Ph.D.?"

"Pretty label... shiny bottle... I'll take it!"

Record department with rock, crossover and classical sections.

'Wait a minute, this guy is missing a head Oh jeez, we're totally gonna crash,'

'Now that I think about it, you're right: Like bankers, we thrive on the misfortune of others...'

A lot of attention gets paid to the Earl of Sandwich, and rightfully so, but let's not forget to show some respect for that neglected Lord of Lunch, the Viscount of Potato Salad.

"Let's face it, Michele. We're not getting any older."

Party Party!

Miguel Ferrer

'Then in the next round, I said to Carol, vowel, consonant, vowel, consonant...'

Mole News: Obituaries

'I was just given more responsibility. Now I am not only responsible for corporate mumbo but also for corporate jumbo.'