Title Enthusiast Gifts

"I got my PhD in Nursing just so people would have to call me Doctor."

'Please don't call me Mr. Carruthers. Mr. Carruthers is my father. I'm Dr. Carruthers.'

'Actually, I don't see myself as a thought leader, but more of a thought manager."

Seriously, why do I call you Dr. Kapuchnik, yet you call me Al? Okay, from now on you call me Al, and I'll call you Dr. Kapuchnik. Will that make you feel better?

'Not only does the babysitter want more money, she now wants to be referred to as a child-care specialist!'

"Hi, I'm Dr. Jenkins." "Nice to meet you. I'm Bachelor of Science Johnson."

'Instead of a raise, Yomp, you may call me 'Chief', instead of Mr Staghorn.'

'Nice to meet you. Plumber Greg.'

"I'm not a babysitter; I'm a child care provider!"

"I was promoted from customer care executive to senior master customer care executive. That means 12 more letters."

Big cheese

"For the girls—Kimberly, Caitlin, Lauren, Cindy, and Tracy. For the boys—Cameron, Christopher, Adam, Jeffrey, and Gregory."

'You've got restless wag syndrome.'

'I chose my field on what would put the most impressive initials after my name.'

Creativity 2.0

Lady walking a dog with a big tail.

"Want to find out if you're also king of the swamp?"

'You shouldn't have.'

Naming that Impala

'Would you feel less inferior if I made you a Colonel?'

"...and you call yourself a computational immunotox-pharmacological an-diffracctiion bimolecular therapeutic ononclonal-antibody genomic metabolic-endocrinologist."

Tom Cruise

The Boss.

J.P.Hensmore Superintendent AKA Head Honcho, The Big Guy,The Man, Numero Uno and The Big Cheese.

All kidding aside, let me explain why I get to call you Al, yet you have to call me Dr. Kapuchnik. It's simply because I'm a psychiatrist and you're a bum. It's nothing personal. Thanks for explaining. I feel better.

What really became of the boy named Sue.

Books: Names That Will Make Your Child Hate You!

Dear Sadie, I'm just an aging Baby-Boomer who still believes in America, and sees all the good around me, but I don't understand why we've become so mean. How can I feel good about us again? Signed, Marlemarion. Great question. There's an easy answer as to how you can feel better about the world. Change your name to something normal! I just don't agree with the @#$% premise that we've gotten mean.

"Really? 'Yeller'? That's what you want to name him?"

"To maintain proper respect for management, you have to call me 'Boss Joey!' Unless, you know, you don't want to."

"Congratulations J.L., I hear you're getting another 'really' in your title."

"Certainly. A party of four at seven-thirty in the name of Dr. Jennings. May I ask whether that is an actual medical degree or a Ph.D.?"

"We're callin' 'im Bill, coz he came at the end of the month"

1,001 names to Embarrass Your Child for Life.

Welcome. National Association of People Padding their Resumes with National Associations. And I think you'll agree, our pointless seminars have some really great titles this year!