Title Enthusiasts Gifts

"...and you call yourself a computational immunotox-pharmacological an-diffracctiion bimolecular therapeutic ononclonal-antibody genomic metabolic-endocrinologist."

"Tonight! Author book signing." "Develop your inner raging bitch."

"For the girls—Kimberly, Caitlin, Lauren, Cindy, and Tracy. For the boys—Cameron, Christopher, Adam, Jeffrey, and Gregory."

'Instead of a raise, Yomp, you may call me 'Chief', instead of Mr Staghorn.'

'You've got restless wag syndrome.'

'I chose my field on what would put the most impressive initials after my name.'

"Want to find out if you're also king of the swamp?"

Lady walking a dog with a big tail.

'You shouldn't have.'

"I got my PhD in Nursing just so people would have to call me Doctor."

Tom Cruise

The Boss.

Naming that Impala

'Would you feel less inferior if I made you a Colonel?'

J.P.Hensmore Superintendent AKA Head Honcho, The Big Guy,The Man, Numero Uno and The Big Cheese.

"Really? 'Yeller'? That's what you want to name him?"

All kidding aside, let me explain why I get to call you Al, yet you have to call me Dr. Kapuchnik. It's simply because I'm a psychiatrist and you're a bum. It's nothing personal. Thanks for explaining. I feel better.

Books: Names That Will Make Your Child Hate You!

Dear Sadie, I'm just an aging Baby-Boomer who still believes in America, and sees all the good around me, but I don't understand why we've become so mean. How can I feel good about us again? Signed, Marlemarion. Great question. There's an easy answer as to how you can feel better about the world. Change your name to something normal! I just don't agree with the @#$% premise that we've gotten mean.

"To maintain proper respect for management, you have to call me 'Boss Joey!' Unless, you know, you don't want to."

What really became of the boy named Sue.

"Congratulations J.L., I hear you're getting another 'really' in your title."

"Certainly. A party of four at seven-thirty in the name of Dr. Jennings. May I ask whether that is an actual medical degree or a Ph.D.?"

"We're callin' 'im Bill, coz he came at the end of the month"

1,001 names to Embarrass Your Child for Life.

Best Sellers; Worst Sellers.

Mr Long and Miss Short.

Welcome. National Association of People Padding their Resumes with National Associations. And I think you'll agree, our pointless seminars have some really great titles this year!

That's Roderick Sloan, the Alvin Meriwether professor of business administration, and with him is Alvin Meriwether, the Roderick Sloan professor of economics.

A lot of attention gets paid to the Earl of Sandwich, and rightfully so, but let's not forget to show some respect for that neglected Lord of Lunch, the Viscount of Potato Salad.

'He calls himself a philanthropist, but would prefer Lord Philanthropist.'

"That's not all I do. Actually I'm a psychological counselor- gymnast-motivational speaker-relaxation therapist-sex worker."

"As I see it, the issue with dog-walking services is that the pace is dictated by whoever is slowest..."

'I was just given more responsibility. Now I am not only responsible for corporate mumbo but also for corporate jumbo.'

Changing house name.