Aging Afficionado Gifts

Rational explanations

Robots search for people's personal information in the cloud.

"There's smart phones and smart cars, so why can't there be smart rooms that clean themselves?"

"Meet the author"

'First you forget logarithms. Then you forget how to do long division. Then the multiplication table begins to go...'

"He's taught himself work-life balance."

"I need a deeper access to his brain. Only google has the records."

'...and in 1/100000 of a second, it can compound the programmer's error 87,500 times.'

"If you're smart enough to design a robot to do your homework, then you're certainly smart enough to just do your homework."

"Hey, remember a few days ago, when all this was unacceptable?"

"Listen to this: 'Technology reduces the time we spend on a given task, but increases the number of tasks we're expected to do.' Sounds like a no-win situation to me!"

"Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity."

Sitting in a tree

Driverless cars rage.

"I fear one day our jobs will be taken over by technology."

"What did you download at school today?"

"But if you change your system preferences to match mine, is it really love?"

Valentine Day

Bot Art: After da Vinci

'Yes, it computed the answer in a bilionth of a second and printed it instantly, but until I find my glasses...'

"Ralph's smart car not only drives better than he does, it also works better. So we fired him and hired the car."

How Rings In Nature Indicate Aging.

'Ugh! Another oil puddle in the living room – bad robot dog!'

"He's the best our AI recruitment algorithm could fund, unfortunately our AI is really stupid."

"The robots have become self-aware and self-loathing. Now all they do is write novels."

"Of course I failed you — your essay was original and unique and obviously written by a human."

"Your feelings may be artificial, but that doesn't mean they're not real."

"Eternally youthful complexion? Here's the deal. Never go out in the sun. Never eat dessert. And, for God's sake, don't smile."

"I'm afraid I'll be replaced by a robot at work."

Breast Height Chart

'Upgrades? Yes, we've programmed it to excrete a few drops of water if it should lose a chess match. You know - tears.'

"When you say you're behind me 100%, do you mean base ten or binary?"

"Your job is to build an app that replaces you."

"Has anyone else noticed that the efficiency experts seem a little robotic?"

"Reports that AI is planning a world takeover are greatly exaggerated."