Literary Fanatic Gifts

"There you are! You've been inside with a book all weekend!"

"Meet The Author"

Accelerated reading. Slowpoke reading,

The Dorrie Decimal System

Television Readers.

'Look! The new long awaited, highly anticipated but ultimately disappointing novel by that guy you like.'

Blue Stockings

King Henry and his Cheshire bride

'He likes to power nap.'

"For the last time stupid, you're tin man, you are not by any leap of the imagination, anything like Iron Man!"

"My novel is not a doorstop!"

The Grasshopper's Feast: A Prophetic Vision

Not to be a motion picture. Will remain just a book.

John Bunyan

Characters jumping out of a book.

"Hey, it's not all fire and brimstone anymore—one of our nine circles is even smoke-free."

Pets are reading the book 'Animal Farm'.

"Well, we needed the rain."

Don Quixote

Gunter Grass

'Don't worry, you're safe. I started my diet today.'

"The low-res JPEG of Dorian Gray"

"Not that I have the time, but I enjoy reading."

Dating an English Major

Dickens & Tolstoy Walk into a Bar: " . . . so, to make a short story long . . . "

'You have to Marvell eh - 'annihalating all that's made to a green thought in a green shade.''

Trilby - 'Je prong!'

Stephen Spender.

"Gone with the wind with cats" "Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn." "Me neither, who cares—let's take a nap."

"Oh, this old thing?"

Through the Looking Glass - Queen Alice with Frog

"I did the math. If we want to read all of Proust in this lifetime, we have to start tomorrow morning."

Sue the Author 3PM

"I don't care if it is itty-bitty. Turn it off!"

"Barb's such a fast reader."