Tenure Titans Gifts

'Do you, Tenured, take this, Untenured, through sickness and health, to have and to hold from this day forward?'

We're halfway through teaching her to roll over.

'This part was tenure.'

"I finally got tenure by publishing a research paper funded by a grant about subsidies."

Professor McWit, Didn't Publish, So Perished.

'We can't get rid of her - she has tenure.'

"Professor Van Winkle, the university has instituted Reevaluation of Tenure, time to wake up."

"Millstone is not yet a full professor."

Washington Crossing the Delaware, Having Been Invited to Join the Faculty at Princeton

'You can never be too fit or too tenured.'

We like to show the endowment to newly tenured professors.

"I only live for 24 hours, so I need a temp job that pays big bugs."

"Be careful, dear. People tend to lose control when faced with the newfound freedom of their first year of tenure."

'Niche apres tenure. Niche before and you're toast.'

'...... in sickness and in health, through the long lean years before tenure or perhaps no tenure, for better of for worse ......'

'Uh, we do have tenure, don't well?

"Before I was Socrates, I was Socrates the adjunct professor struggling to get tenure."

You're in the Engineering Quad, Just Back Away Slowly and Find the Humanities Quad.

"You can't cut my head off! -- I have tenure!"

Plato seeking platonic love on Tinder

"Today, class, I'm proud to announce my tenure."

Part-time, Associate, Tenured.

'University tenure, now there's a sweet gig.'

'I'm just calculating the probability of my getting tenure in this university.'

'Wow, this is a lot better!'

"Since you tithed from the 'net' and not the 'gross', you're going to Hog Heaven instead."

'I'm not a great fan of tenure, but in my case, my doctor prescribed it, so what could I do?'

"You don't have to worry about ending up here. I have tenure."

"The 'Maurice Q. Dinkelfrost Professor of Economics' really is an endowed chair even though we made up the name just to amuse ourselves."

"Disgusting! I'm never going to get this guy properly trained! I think I'll just abandon him somewhere!"

'5 teeth or less.' supermarket checkout