Tenure Gifts

"Today, class, I'm proud to announce my tenure."

We like to show the endowment to newly tenured professors.

He may have a PH.D in elementary particle physics, but he's having an awful lot of trouble with the application form.

'This part was tenure.'

"I finally got tenure by publishing a research paper funded by a grant about subsidies."

Professor McWit, Didn't Publish, So Perished.

"Professor Van Winkle, the university has instituted Reevaluation of Tenure, time to wake up."

"Millstone is not yet a full professor."

Washington Crossing the Delaware, Having Been Invited to Join the Faculty at Princeton

'You can never be too fit or too tenured.'

'Niche apres tenure. Niche before and you're toast.'

"You constantly saying 'I'll see you Monday' won't change the fact that you're fired."

"Be careful, dear. People tend to lose control when faced with the newfound freedom of their first year of tenure."

"Rudy, if you're playing a video game in there. I'm breaking this door down. Some of us have got to go."

'...... in sickness and in health, through the long lean years before tenure or perhaps no tenure, for better of for worse ......'

"After ten years at the company, the boss finally noticed my work...he fired me!"

'Uh, we do have tenure, don't well?

"Before I was Socrates, I was Socrates the adjunct professor struggling to get tenure."

'Surely it is no longer legal to include 'deposit of your first-born child'?'

You're in the Engineering Quad, Just Back Away Slowly and Find the Humanities Quad.

'Do you, Tenured, take this, Untenured, through sickness and health, to have and to hold from this day forward?'

"You can't cut my head off! -- I have tenure!"

Part-time, Associate, Tenured.

'University tenure, now there's a sweet gig.'

'I'm just calculating the probability of my getting tenure in this university.'

(Long complicated equation) = TENURE.

'I'm not a great fan of tenure, but in my case, my doctor prescribed it, so what could I do?'

"To succeed in my class is easy. Keep quiet, pay attention, and let me concentrate on getting tenure."

Robot University. I hear your fire-resistant now. Yeah, I was just voted tenure!

'I can't divorce me, I have tenure.'

"You don't have to worry about ending up here. I have tenure."

"The 'Maurice Q. Dinkelfrost Professor of Economics' really is an endowed chair even though we made up the name just to amuse ourselves."

"Recent studies indicate you don't work here anymore."