Tenure Pursuit Gifts

Professor McWit, Didn't Publish, So Perished.

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

He may have a PH.D in elementary particle physics, but he's having an awful lot of trouble with the application form.

Upward Progress

A man with Dwarfism is reading Little Women.

'This part was tenure.'

"I finally got tenure by publishing a research paper funded by a grant about subsidies."

The March to the Top

'Ah, Gripes, you want to discuss a raise with me, eh? Come in, sit down, make yourself comfortable!'

'We can't get rid of her - she has tenure.'

"Professor Van Winkle, the university has instituted Reevaluation of Tenure, time to wake up."

'Why was I passed over for the C.F.O. position?'

'And along with your promotion you get a key to the executive bedroom.'

"Millstone is not yet a full professor."

'Just a minute Simkins, I have that letter of application for promotion here somewhere...'

'I want to reach the number one spot at Google.'

Washington Crossing the Delaware, Having Been Invited to Join the Faculty at Princeton

'You can never be too fit or too tenured.'

We like to show the endowment to newly tenured professors.

'I didn't get the raise... but I don't have to laugh at his jokes anymore.'

woman works at a desk with a sign on the wall behind her: Ms. Davis Senior Partner - Formerly Hey You.

'Niche apres tenure. Niche before and you're toast.'

'Do I have to spell it out for you?'

"Be careful, dear. People tend to lose control when faced with the newfound freedom of their first year of tenure."

'Shoot, son, if you work real hard and stick to it, I reckon you can grow up to impersonate anyone you want.'

'...... in sickness and in health, through the long lean years before tenure or perhaps no tenure, for better of for worse ......'

"Oh no. It's another death caused by 'economy pack syndrome'!"

"You call that high, Mr Raskin?"

'Uh, we do have tenure, don't well?

"If you're going to ask for a raise, I suggest buttering him up with a catnip toy first."

"Before I was Socrates, I was Socrates the adjunct professor struggling to get tenure."

You're in the Engineering Quad, Just Back Away Slowly and Find the Humanities Quad.

'Do you, Tenured, take this, Untenured, through sickness and health, to have and to hold from this day forward?'

"You can't cut my head off! -- I have tenure!"

"Today, class, I'm proud to announce my tenure."