Tenure Navigators Mugs

"Millstone is not yet a full professor."

'...we have every new employee spend time on our assembly line. Eight hours, no breaks.'

'This part was tenure.'

"I finally got tenure by publishing a research paper funded by a grant about subsidies."

Professor McWit, Didn't Publish, So Perished.

'Looks like this part of the beach has been claimed.'

Even pirates have kids. 'Look, mom...no hands!'

"My name is Jane and I've been forty-six for 30 days."

A castaway on an island with an old TV that's washed ashore, sees two men in an approaching boat marked, 'TV Licensing'.

"Intern? Oh, no. He wandered in from our day care center."

Washington Crossing the Delaware, Having Been Invited to Join the Faculty at Princeton

'You can never be too fit or too tenured.'

We like to show the endowment to newly tenured professors.

I hate these flying fish

'Typical male: Too proud to ask for directions or take advice! Look at us now!'

"Be careful, dear. People tend to lose control when faced with the newfound freedom of their first year of tenure."

"Don't just sit there. Build a boat!"

'Niche apres tenure. Niche before and you're toast.'

'Shark bites seem to be more numerous than ever this year.'

"It's time to break up the company!!"

'The good news is I've got a part-time job. The bad news is I started the day with a full-time job.'

Cruise ship's captain complains God didn't save his hat.

'Are you blokes crazy? Are you gonna listen to me or the blasted parrot?'

"Before I was Socrates, I was Socrates the adjunct professor struggling to get tenure."

"I feel sorry for kids these days - they're always being tested for something"

'Do you, Tenured, take this, Untenured, through sickness and health, to have and to hold from this day forward?'

A swordfish saws through a raft.

"Yes you successfully removed the trip hazard, but with hindsight..."

"Gosh and I thought it was a barbershop."

"I said I've travelled all over the world. I never said I got out of the box."

"Harumph. Some 'sailor man.'"

"We should make it past the rocks by nightfall, provided our luck holds."

"Today, class, I'm proud to announce my tenure."

Part-time, Associate, Tenured.