Middle-age Navigators Gifts

"Of course 40 is the new 39."

"Your contents have shifted."

Micro Psychiatry Clinic. You have a full schedule today, Doctor. The helium atom will be here to work on his fear of heights. The white blood cell with a germ phobia and amoeba with separation anxiety are coming in. The DNA molecule will be here about an identity crisis. And here, in the sports car, comes a new patient, a carbon-14 isotope. Ah, looks like he's going through a half-life crisis!

Middle-aged guy spots an available convertible. The mating ritual begins.

'Unfortunately, there's no cure. It's called growing older.'

'Hi, I'm middle-age and I'll be hanging around a while.'

Menopause and the City

"Fill'er up with testosterone."

'After the age of fifty the 'c' word always means colonoscopy.'

This is what Fred gets for wishing for more hair.

Parkinson Ave - Alzheimer Drive

Middle Age: When the four letter word you use most is 'What?'

You Know You're Old When...

Four years ago during a special episode of the Ask Sadie™ Show, our resident octogenarian asked listeners for advice about how she can deal with her midlife crisis. Dear Sadie, I was going to suggest you start a YouTube channel to share your advice with younger people. But YouTube just stabbed its content creators in the back. They stopped showing ads on videos discussing anything even remotely controversial. That's going to put so many important voices out of business. So I don't really have an

"My name is Jane and I've been forty-six for 30 days."

Randolph maintains a stiff upper lip while the rest of him just goes to hell.

Clair regretted having her husband sit in while her doctor described possible side effects of menopause.

"Just what we've been looking for...a happy medium."

"You're looking for 'Sex After Fifty'? That's in the 'fiction' department."

"I used to be innocent. Then I was naive. Now I'm just dumb."

'In denial and loving it!'

'To become ONE with the Universe, you must first become COMPLIANT with the Universe!'

"I signed up for 'Dressage Without the Horse.'"

'You know you're 40 when...'

'No pep, shaky, noisy, overheating. Right. Anything wrong with the car?'

The eyebrow come over and the nose hair mustache.

'Just give her a chance to cool down. It's probably hormonal.'

Darby and Joan zimmer frame tandem

"Have you got it in beige?"

"I'm 'The Drunk Divorced Overweight Chain-Smoking Middle Aged Man.' 'The Wise Man' is on the next peak."

7 Dwarves of Midlife.

'I'm not that concerned about my prostate ... I'm still trying to survive my wife's menopause.'

'He's decided not to have a mid life crisis-he thinks it could be too expensive.'

'She says she's 40 but she's forgotten to add on the V.A.T.!'

'I'd like to trade him in under the 'cash for clunkers' program.'