Middle-age Navigators Gifts

"Of course 40 is the new 39."

"Your contents have shifted."

Middle-aged guy spots an available convertible. The mating ritual begins.

'Unfortunately, there's no cure. It's called growing older.'

'Hi, I'm middle-age and I'll be hanging around a while.'

"Fill'er up with testosterone."

'After the age of fifty the 'c' word always means colonoscopy.'

Parkinson Ave - Alzheimer Drive

This is what Fred gets for wishing for more hair.

"My name is Jane and I've been forty-six for 30 days."

You Know You're Old When...

Middle Age: When the four letter word you use most is 'What?'

Randolph maintains a stiff upper lip while the rest of him just goes to hell.

Clair regretted having her husband sit in while her doctor described possible side effects of menopause.

"Just what we've been looking for...a happy medium."

"You're looking for 'Sex After Fifty'? That's in the 'fiction' department."

"I used to be innocent. Then I was naive. Now I'm just dumb."

'In denial and loving it!'

'To become ONE with the Universe, you must first become COMPLIANT with the Universe!'

"I signed up for 'Dressage Without the Horse.'"

'You know you're 40 when...'

'No pep, shaky, noisy, overheating. Right. Anything wrong with the car?'

'Just give her a chance to cool down. It's probably hormonal.'

The eyebrow come over and the nose hair mustache.

Darby and Joan zimmer frame tandem

"Have you got it in beige?"

"I'm 'The Drunk Divorced Overweight Chain-Smoking Middle Aged Man.' 'The Wise Man' is on the next peak."

'He's decided not to have a mid life crisis-he thinks it could be too expensive.'

'I'm not that concerned about my prostate ... I'm still trying to survive my wife's menopause.'

'She says she's 40 but she's forgotten to add on the V.A.T.!'

Hello, dear! Remember 1968?

'It's time for your crisis.'