Tennis Humorist Gifts

'Now you know why they call it a spectator sport.'

Tennis Player.

"Don't worry, Ref, just shock, it's his first save all season."

'These goalscoring celebrations are getting out of hand.'

Punt Cake

It is best dealt with by the 'Pitch and Run Shot'.

Football Chameleon

'I don't understand why you always put me in goal?!'

Alternative fielding positions

Gary turns 40.

Bobby's pitching coach told him to put some stank on the ball.

'He's got abdominal pain, dizziness and soreness in his extremities. I'll know more when I see X-rays...'

Trojan Hurdler.

"So what's this special distracting tactic you've developed?"

'Why do they call him Neckline Ned.' - 'He's always plunging down the middle but never showing anything.'

'Sean Connery was the best James Bond!'

'We went generic. The players' salaries are affordable.'

'I got a reverse hat trick. I let three goals in.'

"Whaddya want for nineteen mil?"

COWS: Cow Pong

'I reckon we need a new sweeper.'

Squash Courts - "Insurance anyone"

Various men worshipping a statue of a football

'It looks suspiciously like Killer Hart is taking a dive!'

Small country advertisng at the Olympics

'He migrates through every year about this time. Just sits there and watches. We leave him alone and he leaves us alone...'

Footballer kicking his own brain.

'He's definitely heading for a red card.'

Trapped on the Pole Vault.

Pigs form huddles before taking up starting positions

'May I recommend a dry white with the seafood dish.'