Tennis Satirist Gifts

Female tennis player snorting lines on the tennis court.

'Tony, you always try to lead.'

"What's he going to do now, break wind?"

10K Run: Smoker's Lane.

The Golfing Accident

A man is trying to play golf with a football boot attached to a stick.

'Let's throw ball. Running game not working.'

'There! See that? Brad just happens to morph into some kind of hideous amphibian just as he's about to putt? Now tell me she's not cheating!'

United Football Club: In, Out, VAR.

Kick Me! (sign on an anthropomorphized soccer ball)

Beijing Olympics - Treadmill.

The Hockey World

The Leafs win the Cup!

COWS: Cow Pong

"You may inflict pain, but it mustn't be severe or prolonged."

Major Bunker (who has been persuaded to join in a game of hockey for the first time, absent-mindedly preparing to drive). 'Force.'

Volcano Sacrifice Competition

'Anyone else want to get up and leave before the game is over?'

Various men worshipping a statue of a football

Goodbye Opiate of the Masses

Runner 007 is given a martini for refreshment.

"After the big race, the tortoise and the hare are ordered to provide urine samples."

'The manager takes the pitcher out of the game'

The solitude of bean farming appealed to the ex-ballplayer after his fall from grace.

Advertising space on jockeys' bottoms

"I think Simon’s been hit on the head one too many times."

Racketeer

'Yes, it's a foul. But is it a flagrant foul?'

"If PBS announcers did football games." "Let's listen carefully to the quarterback as he scans his options. It appears that the defense seems to want to deter his team from moving the ball forward..." "The fans are making so much noise. I wonder if they know how hard that makes it for the players to concentrate?"

Loser's Podium.

Vikings to the Super bowl.

'New rule. From now on you don't just sit in the penalty box. You also get a root canal.'

'Wait! Better give me the big one.'

'Turn your head and cough.'

'The pitcher tested negative for steroids. The pitcher's mound we're not too sure about.'