Telly Relaxer Gifts

Man and TV have both fallen asleep

"Ahhh... close enough."

American Idle.

"And then, when I feel like a rum punch and breaded shrimp, I can just swim to Tony’s Trattoria."

Chillaxing!

'The cruises and long vacations ensure I'm not micro-managing.'

"I do wish Henry could run into someone from the dress business to talk to."

Last night I went over to Lance's house, and he was leaning back in his recliner, drinking a beer, eating a pizza and smoking a cigar. I said, "Tsk! Tsk!" He asked if that was for the recliner, the beer the pizza or the cigar. I explained that I'm quite adept at multi-tsking.

"What's wrong?"

'Thanks for the invitation, but I can never seem to find the energy to party...'

Leaves falling from a roof garden.

'I like what I do but I love what I don't do.'

'I don't care what he says, child labor laws were never intended to protect the rights of children in their mid-30s.'

Man about dog relaxing in chair: 'He's a full-blooded recliner.'

'But I feel quite healthy.'

"What did I say about leaving those things by the bath?"

"Have you ever tried buying lots of stuff?"

"And this is my husband...he's into energy conservation, mostly his own!"

Lazy dog.

"Oooo!... Leather! I'd love to shed on that!!"

I'm practicing for retirement - one hour every day.

"The president wants me to stay on as unemployed."

'How's the executive training program, going?'

His entire life was about balance.

The Modern Tourist

"Didn't I tell you to limber up before you started channel surfing?"

"Now bend forward to touch floor between feet- try to keep knees straight."

"I said I've travelled all over the world. I never said I got out of the box."

Legalization of marijuana

Some eggs are having a good time in the boiling water as if it were a jacuzzi.

"I'm thinking of installing some strobe lights to make it look like he's moving."

'Rodney, I don't know what to make of you. You're bored by excitement, and excited by boredom.'

'T.M., have you ever considered taking up golf like most executives?'

"You never had to learn to relax, did you Fred?"

Club 18-30, Club 30-45