Television Trivia Titan Pillows

Victoria's pre-marriage questionnaire continues...'Can I get input from the guys at the bar on this one?'

'So, ten thousand pounds could be yours if you call in and answer this question...Why the hell aren't you in bed?!'

"Did you honestly expect our couples therapist to know when Jacoby Ellsbury will be off the disabled list?!"

'What a strange episode -- they just voted Ricardo Montalban off the island!'

'This has been a Chris Wallace special report -- we now switch you back to Mike Wallace....'

"Still judging people on stuff you could never do?"

Nicholas Parsons RIP

'Bill remembers where he was everybody died.'

It's academic

"I'm sorry but the correct answer is not 'I'm sorry if you feel offended.'"

"I'll have a vole, please Carol"

'Before I met you, I didn't know any of the sitcom characters by their first names,'

"Shouldn't have bought a touch-screen TV."

'On tonight's news: Katie Couric interviews Katie Couric.'

'No! The bully in Tom Brown's Schooldays was called 'Flashman' not 'Paxman'.'

'Things even God could not know - for $400, Alex.'

'If you look closely at the CAT scan, you can see a tiny area of normal brain activity. Otherwise, he's got nothing but a headful of useless sports statistics.'

When TV networks hold pledge drives, you know the economy isn't in great shape.

'And who are your chosen subjects?'

Welsh countdown

"They're called leftovers, not 'reruns'."

'It's a smart TV - it only turns on for Mastermind.'

"Any idea what's on the TV?"

"I'll take 'Remembering things from more than 8 seconds ago' for $200, please."

Sitcom News 'Hey, Marcia! Where's that darn news! I can't find it anywhere!'

Cue-card holder auditions.