Television Commentator Gifts

'Frankly, I think watching paint dry has been given a bad press.'

"I'm not sure if this is a pantomime or one of those political debates. . ."

"Since he retired, he fills his days complaining about 'woke' television."

Big Sister

'There's too much sex and violence on T.V. - go play a video game!'

Opportunities in Coronatimes

"Nation-building never works."

Trump Administration Raising White Flag in Ukraine

Laughingstock

"And the winner is… Dan the Man by a nose!"

"Whoever made Keir Starmer did a sound professional job."

Trump Poutine

"Mom, does the Russian borscht you made for dinner give me foreign-policy experience?"

'What's wrong with those Europeans? We have more murders in this city than England, France Germany and Spain combined.'

Who gets the anti-corona vaccine?

"You know who's tougher than all your little superheroes? The fossil fuel industry."

"The regular Fox news commentator was canned for being too soft on Iran. I'm Dick Cheney."

Political Candidates' Playbook Signals from the sidelines

"....So called 'fake news' is dangerous to our democracy!"

"Hey...look...I'm prepared to admit that I might have been wrong, but...I think it's time to draw a line under it... and y'know...move on..."

'Why does my opponent keep lying about me?', 'Because truth is stranger than fiction?'

Unemployed recession: the irony is killing me

"‘Click’, you have reached the White House, press 1 for shameless groveling, 2 for presidential pardons, and please have your credit card details ready..."

"I just know he's gonna ask me why I voted for Trump."

A lock labeled 'freedom' covers a man's mouth.

"I see the White House didn't lower the flag to half staff."

'I was hounded out of office!', 'That explains the smell.'

"Actually, yes, honey — I do believe 'Fox News' is an oxymoron."

Tearing up the Iran Deal

"Sir, multiple people were stabbed by a terrorist in..."

"What do you mean blood sucking pest? You're the one who invited me into your life!"

"I mean the Saturday Night Live president, not the lousy one."

"Hear ye! Hear ye! Look, having nuclear - my uncle was a great professor and scientist and engineer, Dr. John Trump at M.I.T. - good genes, very good genes, O.K., very smart. . ."

Coming up: Bush and Kerry will debate on 'saturday night live'...and whoever gets the most laughs will be the winner.'

'Cartoonist thinking'