Tv Show Commentator Gifts

'When I have my fifteen minutes of fame, I sure hope Geraldo isn't involved.'

The Judging Panel Judge

No, you idiots, they don't include a "comments" section.

'Frankly, I think watching paint dry has been given a bad press.'

"And the winner is… Dan the Man by a nose!"

"The regular Fox news commentator was canned for being too soft on Iran. I'm Dick Cheney."

"‘Click’, you have reached the White House, press 1 for shameless groveling, 2 for presidential pardons, and please have your credit card details ready..."

"Still, he might be remembered as the 'no cloning' President."

'Cartoonist thinking'

"Look out, Luke Grasswalker! Irascibility leads to the dark side of the force. . . right into a hamburger bun."

'I'm terribly worried, Doctor - he doesn't talk back to Bill O'Reilly any more.'

"But the good news is Trump has broken off diplomatic relations with them only on Twitter..."

'He hasn't played a game yet, but there are people who have started whinging about him already.'

Sports Radio in Crisis

Carl Shurz's attacks on President Grant are 'Played Out'

Tree of Public Opinion.

"We've now got a higher approval rating than the media."

"Lord, save my ass from this Russia debacle, please!"

Sir Patrick Moore.

"Good evening. In today's top story, my book has jumped to Number Three on the best-seller list."

The National Institute for Advanced Talk-Show Punditry.

And now, for a rebuttal.

Pundits

'Oh man, he just nailed that triple entendre... that all but guarantees him a medal.'

"Actually, we will replace you."

Defunding the police vs defunding education

"There's a programme about people watching TV on the other channel."

"As you can see here - slow the tape, guys - these sparks are coming awfully close to the truck's gas tank, an explosive situation indeed..." Every high speed chase needs a color man.

Chess on TV

The United States of Amazement

"This is gonna be great!"

"If PBS announcers did football games." "Let's listen carefully to the quarterback as he scans his options. It appears that the defense seems to want to deter his team from moving the ball forward..." "The fans are making so much noise. I wonder if they know how hard that makes it for the players to concentrate?"

Sportscasters on the Savannah

'Say what you like about the All Black scrum, but it's clearly the most fragrant and well groomed in the modern game.'

Dear Sadie, How come there never seems to be any penality for pundits who turn out to be wrong all the time?