Telescope Tilter Gifts

'I've had a report of a peeping tom.'

"Lemme know when you’re ready to howl at it."

Adhesive Tiles: Do Not Open from this End.

"Honestly, I didn't know your wife was in the shower."

'Slip Ahoy!'

"Trying to impress us on your first day is understandable, but the moon has already been discovered."

'I installed all the floor tiles by myself. I did it all by tile and error.'

"New researches use it in daylight hours only."

'My God we being invaded!'

"Hurray! I discovered a new planet!"

"I've either discovered dark matter, or I've left the lens cap on."

Galileo describes his discoveries to the church (and gets hit over the head by the bishop/pope with the telescope that he made the discoveries with).

Workaholic goes to Pisa

'It's a black hole! Wait, what's all that debris? It looks like...hey, it's my letters to the editor, and my movie script submissions, and all the ideas I've ever put in the suggestion box.'

'Hey, guys, come over here. I just discovered the telescope.'

Venice 1609: Someone plays a practical joke on Galileo. . .

'He runs this firm like a ship.'

"As an astronomer, this discovery heralds a new golden age of academic fervor for mathematicians and astrophysicists across the globe. As a Sagittarius, I'm fucked."

No caption. (An astronomer looks through a high-powered telescope while a baby in a crib looks through a hand-held scope).

Scientist drinking night sky through telescope

'The last thing I said to him was: 'whatever you do, don't look at the sun through this thing'.'

'No, I'm not into astronomy. That telescope is for you to see your new parking spot.'

Astronomers using giant telescope to light fires.

Alien surrendering to huge telescope because it looks like a gun

Buffering

Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune, Earth, Venus, Mars … Mercury … Um, Pluto? Charon? No, Pluto … or Eris? Ugh …

"All I get is a bird's eye view."

New Images from Hubble

Solar Range.

Les Bons Bourgeois - Looking in vain for the planet Leverrier

A very young mariner. A young mariner. An ancient mariner.

Testing the Big Bangs theory.

'Watch this space.'

'Tiling a Bathroom for a Crossword Puzzle Editor.'

'Stop staring at my wife.'