Telescope Fan Gifts

"Trying to impress us on your first day is understandable, but the moon has already been discovered."

"His social distance is 13 light years."

Rocket Launch Control Centre Back in 10,9,8,7,6,5,4,3,2,1

...and then I...wait....What's that?? Whoa! We're on a spaceship! This is fun! Hey! What's this button do? Can I pull this lever? Are we there yet? Take a selfie with us? Do we get snacks? Can I drive? Are we there yet? Something we said? Just imagine if we'd been obnoxious!

'Oh dear. He's got my eyes.'

Moon Lander

The Lemmings of Montauk

Damn. Out of quarters again for the Pay Electron Microscope.

'Hi Terry. Quick question about that new gearbox you put in my Polo last week.'

"...9...8...7...6...5...4...3..."

Unlike modern day hipsters, pre-historic hipsters didn't need to rely on yoga, hiking or even rock climbing to stay fit...

'The anaerobic ones are just sitting there, but the aerobic bacteria are doing jumping jacks, sit-up, leg lifts....'

Optician and the PI.

Did you hear? Marco Polo went to China in search of herbs and spices. Wow! The first instance of thyme travel!

"I love it when they come with warning labels."

Rockets of Nasa and nasal.

"My guess is that you're not the first European here.

'Such a pity you couldn't find your way through the maze to deactivate my doomsday rocket, Mr Bond. Perhaps now you'll admit that you're not as clever as a well-trained lab rat.'

Wolf clinging on to a speeding space rocket

"When they guaranteed delivery anywhere, anyplace, they weren't kidding."

'...and what about my Human Rights?'

They put their hands under me so I'll blow hot air. They put their hands under me so I'll run water. You don't want to know what they put in front of me so I'll flush.

Nelly Copter

Musk, Branson, Bezos.

A dog sits at her typwriter

"Why didn't Lewis and Clark just use GPS?"

Battle of the leaf-blowers.

'Wow, look at the beautiful garden! Out of respect for the gardener, I say we only tunnel around it...'

Microscope's R Us. 'What do you mean out 'No Refunds' small print is too small.'

It was only a matter of time until Gertrude turned into a grumpy cat.

"How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?"

'Hmm, your luggage seems to have been booked through to India.'

'As a member of the worldwide web, I would like to officially welcome you to Earth.'

"Mom, can you come get me?"

I don't know why I built it for him – he only uses it to look for squirrels.