Telescope Tuner Gifts

"Honestly, I didn't know your wife was in the shower."

"Lemme know when you’re ready to howl at it."

'Slip Ahoy!'

"Trying to impress us on your first day is understandable, but the moon has already been discovered."

"New researches use it in daylight hours only."

'My God we being invaded!'

"Hurray! I discovered a new planet!"

"I've either discovered dark matter, or I've left the lens cap on."

Galileo describes his discoveries to the church (and gets hit over the head by the bishop/pope with the telescope that he made the discoveries with).

'It's a black hole! Wait, what's all that debris? It looks like...hey, it's my letters to the editor, and my movie script submissions, and all the ideas I've ever put in the suggestion box.'

'Is that enough peace on earth, Miss? I've got my tuba lesson in ten minutes and kickboxing at six...'

"As an astronomer, this discovery heralds a new golden age of academic fervor for mathematicians and astrophysicists across the globe. As a Sagittarius, I'm fucked."

No caption. (An astronomer looks through a high-powered telescope while a baby in a crib looks through a hand-held scope).

'Hey, guys, come over here. I just discovered the telescope.'

Scientist drinking night sky through telescope

Venice 1609: Someone plays a practical joke on Galileo. . .

'He runs this firm like a ship.'

'The last thing I said to him was: 'whatever you do, don't look at the sun through this thing'.'

Astronomers using giant telescope to light fires.

"Good morning - your neighbours have asked me to come and tune your piano."

"All I get is a bird's eye view."

Buffering

Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune, Earth, Venus, Mars … Mercury … Um, Pluto? Charon? No, Pluto … or Eris? Ugh …

New Images from Hubble

Les Bons Bourgeois - Looking in vain for the planet Leverrier

'I've had a report of a peeping tom.'

The Moon Falls Out of the Sky.

Solar Range.

Alien surrendering to huge telescope because it looks like a gun

Testing the Big Bangs theory.

'Bad news, fellas... it's inventory time.'

'SSHHH, PIANOS. TWO GRANDS AND A BABY. ONE HAS THE LID UP AND THE OTHER ONE IS BARING ITS KEYS. BETTER GET THE CELLO.'

'Watch this space.'

'First snowdrop.'

'Stop staring at my wife.'