Television Tuner Gifts

Is TV Dumbing Down? PRESS ON SWITCH

"Honestly, I didn't know your wife was in the shower."

'And at what stage did you realise the ball you were heading was on the TV?'

'I'm a virtuoso on the middle pedal.'

Excess Baggage: Before starting your rental car, be sure the radio is turned all the way down.

"I know he's funny, boy, but he’s also the president of the United States."

'Why do I have to do this? -- Violins never solve anything!'

'Your plasma screen TV needs a transfusion.'

"Sooner or later you just knew it had to come to this. . ."

'Ta dum deedee dum -- DUM -- Bloop -- Fsst, tra la,,,'

'...According to the survey, Canadians prefer the doggie style positions, so the can both keep watching the Hockey game...'

'Is that enough peace on earth, Miss? I've got my tuba lesson in ten minutes and kickboxing at six...'

"Good morning - your neighbours have asked me to come and tune your piano."

'SSHHH, PIANOS. TWO GRANDS AND A BABY. ONE HAS THE LID UP AND THE OTHER ONE IS BARING ITS KEYS. BETTER GET THE CELLO.'

'Don't worry, the first 30 years working as a sound engineer are the hardest.'

"Cable company. . . ? I want to know why my television picture is totally upside down all the time!!"

'Oh, that's out piano tuna.'

'We are experiencing technical difficulties, please stand by...'

"Norm, the piano tuna is here!"

"The news lady says this bad guy was charged with assault...but he didn't have rifle. How's that possible?!"

Piano-Tuning Bar

Tune Up Shop.

Piano tuning shop in desert - "Ok, so I'll do a bit more market research next time."

Space alien enters TV store to have his antennas adjusted.

"He responds so enthusiastically to music, we sometimes wonder if he'll grow up to be an entirely average person who enjoys music."

"It's a very common problem, sir, and here's a simple diagnostic test you can try: If you click the remote and it goes away, it's a TV show. If it DOESN'T go away, it's reality. Hey, you're welcome! Glad I could help you!"

"Norm, the piano tuna is here!"

'Bush said Iraq is NOT in a civil war because there have been no sightings of 'Union' or 'Confederate' army flags.'

Digital Tuna.

'Tuna's here John.'

Straightening up.

The lame stuff you listen to (yes, you)

'The shows will look the same, but the commercials appear in 3-D high definition.'

'That's not the news, I left my video game on,'

Predatory Pianos.