Telescope Technician Gifts

'Oh, for Pete's sake! Will you tell Milligan that it's HIS turn to clean the bird doo off of the telescope lens?!'

"Lemme know when you’re ready to howl at it."

Scientist drinking night sky through telescope

Jack of all trades

The Computer Bore

"Where's the business end of this thing?"

"I give up. Where's the power button?"

"Nope, I still only have one bar."

Early cyborg.

Bob invents a device that electrically shocks anyone who calls between 11 p.m. and 7 a.m.

The Not-So Smart Meter

STRIP Hambone: Fix it yourself

"Honestly, I didn't know your wife was in the shower."

Congratulations on your retirement!

'It's O.K. Charlie - you can relax. The T.V. repairman said, 'it can be fixed!''

"And this is one of our most poular models..."

STRIP Hambone: Early diesel run computer

High speed cinder block

Electronics: Nooks/Crannies

"New researches use it in daylight hours only."

Battery Lighthouse

'Imagine if it was this simple to upgrade our staff.'

'Warning: Use of oversized apertures or antennas will void warranty,'

'So you still can't get a sound engineer then?'

Fixing the TV.

"It's so nice to gather and enjoy a simple home-cooked meal together."

Satellite Discovers Sell-by-Date on Planet Earth

'But I don't want to be able to turn on the toaster with the TV remote!'

'My God we being invaded!'

'God?' Earth receives its first transmission from space.

"Since we installed the video surveillance system we're losing fewer socks."

'Okay, the motorized rocking chair could use an emergency off switch.'

'The boss said to get rid of all the pirated software before he returns, which will be in about five to ten years.'

Early Tech Support

"Hurray! I discovered a new planet!"