Telescope Operator Gifts

You're fired! I want you out of here by sundown!

Jerry Perkins, low man on the totem-pole at the observatory.

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

"Lemme know when you’re ready to howl at it."

Working in the Hazard Zone!

If nobody had invented graphics

"All our extras are ex-soccer players - they're the best at dramatically faking injuries."

'Slip Ahoy!'

"Legs together, David -- You're hamspreading again."

"Here's the deal, boys. We need to see a little more bickering. We're doing a Reality Show."

'Action!...Cut!...Right, everything else is CGI'

Local News in Heaven

'We're doing a fly on the wall documentary.'

I cut my own hair — using a drone.

Police film evidence

'And don't be afraid to ask for directions.'

"Mom! Kathy's feeding her liver to the dog! Want to see the video?"

“Look! We’re on the naked cam!”

"... And in Canada today ... nothing happened."

'There's a software glitch. The drones have built a hive and are trying to make honey.'

"I think that's one of those annoying flying drones we've been hearing about!"

'Waiter, there's a drone in my soup.'

"I'm gonna want that taxidermied."

"In this scene, imagine you're sentient and know what feelings are."

A fly on the wall documentary.

"Well, we can kiss being free-range goodbye."

'This is the emergency drone speaking...get out of the way, as of now you are replaced!'

A convict escaping during the press scrum

"In a late breaking news story, our TV station is on fire."

'You don't know how much it would mean to me if you could just jump.'

"I think it's from accounting."

The Making of a Gag Cartoon

"It's my extreme sports camera. I thought it would be cool to show my mom what I do at work."

Drone Baby Delivery

'Damn ! I don't have a clue where we are.'