Telescope Observing Gifts

"I just spotted the brightest star. . . I'm Sirius!"

"Lemme know when you’re ready to howl at it."

"Honestly, I didn't know your wife was in the shower."

"What the... mine are lunar eclipse glasses!"

Vegetarian Birds

'Slip Ahoy!'

"One!...Two!...Now spread those tail feathers..."

"Stargazing sure is less painful at night."

"My calculations are complete. We could toast 12,000 marshmallows every day for every person on earth for 36,000 years with one solar flare."

'You had to put a skylight in didn't you?'

Venice 1609: Someone plays a practical joke on Galileo. . .

"We've discovered intelligent life in Outer Space, based on how geeky they look."

Scientist drinking night sky through telescope

'No, I'm not into astronomy. That telescope is for you to see your new parking spot.'

'We just received a radio signal from Tau-Upsilon that was utter drivel. Do you suppose it was one of their TV shows?'

'We discovered a massive dust and gas cloud which is either the beginning of a new star of just a hell of a lot of dust and gas.'

A very young mariner. A young mariner. An ancient mariner.

"Oh, oh - looks like a blue shift."

Whale watching.

The Moon Falls Out of the Sky.

Entry level astronomer...

'He's so fast he has to stop to clean the insects off his glasses.'

Little guy using telescope to see past a big guy blocking his view in the crowd,

"Since you've been watching me on my planet, I was hoping you could tell me where I lost my phone."

'Bad news, fellas... it's inventory time.'

'Hey, look how tiny the Earth appears through this end!'

'Asteroid, asteroid!' ... 'Fore!'

'First snowdrop.'

Voyeurs guide to the Cosmos (stars in the shape of a sexy woman).

'I think I finally spotted a star between the spy satellites.'

"Sir, there's a crack in our lens!"