Telescopes Gifts

Cloud Cuckoo Land, "Dinner's ready"

"What's wrong with this telescope? I can't see a blasted thing."

Voyeurs guide to the Cosmos (stars in the shape of a sexy woman).

'We discovered a massive dust and gas cloud which is either the beginning of a new star of just a hell of a lot of dust and gas.'

'The Universe isn't coming to an end, Schneebart -- you just left the lens cap on!'

"Even though we work with enormous numbers, a zillion just doesn't tell us very much."

"What is the speed of dark?"

'I think I finally spotted a star between the spy satellites.'

'Ah-ha! -- Made you look!'

"Oh, oh - looks like a blue shift."

"I'll call it 'Saturn'. Hey - that's got a nice ring to it. . !"

'Those aren't sunspots, dummy - Your glasses are dirty again!'

'I'm going to take a shower - No peeking, now.'

"I can see back in time millions of years, but what I'd really love to see is where my husband went last night."

"Since you've been watching me on my planet, I was hoping you could tell me where I lost my phone."

Venice 1609: Someone plays a practical joke on Galileo. . .

"They said it was the natural resting position of the telescope, but it still creeps me out."

'Just as I suspected. The wormhole is located behind the Dog Star.'

Little guy using telescope to see past a big guy blocking his view in the crowd,

Entry level astronomer...

'It's a tweet from heaven. They say if we don't stop watching them, they're going to tell God.'

'It looked a lot bigger through the telescope.'

A man staring up his own fundament through complex telescope.

I've been searching the sky all night and haven't seen one sign of life! But, Frank the lens cap is still on! Oh, good, there's still hope I'm not the only intelligent being in the universe!

It's for looking at the other side of the moon.

The James Webb telescope is going to change everything. How so, cretinous oaf? It's going to let us see much farther into deep space than ever before. And the farther we see, the further back in time we're seeing. Do you understand what this means, Sadie? I don't have all day. Get to the point dweeb! It means we'll see the earliest stars and galaxies there ever were. We may even see all the way back to the Big Bang itself. We'll finally know for certain whether it was you. Busted. That singulari

Do we want to sign up with the neighborhood watch?

"We're picking up the birth of a star and the death of a star. The only problem is, it seems to be the same star."

"Lemme know when you’re ready to howl at it."

"Honestly, I didn't know your wife was in the shower."

'Slip Ahoy!'

"Stargazing sure is less painful at night."

No caption. (An astronomer looks through a high-powered telescope while a baby in a crib looks through a hand-held scope).

Astronomers studying the 26 moons of Uranus...

Scientist drinking night sky through telescope