Telescope Techniques Gifts

'I have no idea where Mars is, but I can tell you that Larry just placed a pre-market order for 500 Oracle.'

"Lemme know when you’re ready to howl at it."

"Honestly, I didn't know your wife was in the shower."

'Slip Ahoy!'

"Stargazing sure is less painful at night."

"New researches use it in daylight hours only."

'My God we being invaded!'

"Hurray! I discovered a new planet!"

"I've either discovered dark matter, or I've left the lens cap on."

Galileo describes his discoveries to the church (and gets hit over the head by the bishop/pope with the telescope that he made the discoveries with).

'He runs this firm like a ship.'

'Hey, guys, come over here. I just discovered the telescope.'

Venice 1609: Someone plays a practical joke on Galileo. . .

Scientist drinking night sky through telescope

"As an astronomer, this discovery heralds a new golden age of academic fervor for mathematicians and astrophysicists across the globe. As a Sagittarius, I'm fucked."

'The last thing I said to him was: 'whatever you do, don't look at the sun through this thing'.'

'No, I'm not into astronomy. That telescope is for you to see your new parking spot.'

'We discovered a massive dust and gas cloud which is either the beginning of a new star of just a hell of a lot of dust and gas.'

Astronomers using giant telescope to light fires.

New Images from Hubble

"Oh, oh - looks like a blue shift."

"Since you've been watching me on my planet, I was hoping you could tell me where I lost my phone."

Little guy using telescope to see past a big guy blocking his view in the crowd,

The Moon Falls Out of the Sky.

Entry level astronomer...

A very young mariner. A young mariner. An ancient mariner.

Solar Range.

"All I get is a bird's eye view."

Alien surrendering to huge telescope because it looks like a gun

Les Bons Bourgeois - Looking in vain for the planet Leverrier

'I've had a report of a peeping tom.'

Testing the Big Bangs theory.