Telescope Techniques T-Shirts

'I have no idea where Mars is, but I can tell you that Larry just placed a pre-market order for 500 Oracle.'

"Lemme know when you’re ready to howl at it."

"Honestly, I didn't know your wife was in the shower."

'Slip Ahoy!'

"Stargazing sure is less painful at night."

"New researches use it in daylight hours only."

'My God we being invaded!'

"Hurray! I discovered a new planet!"

"I've either discovered dark matter, or I've left the lens cap on."

Galileo describes his discoveries to the church (and gets hit over the head by the bishop/pope with the telescope that he made the discoveries with).

'It's a black hole! Wait, what's all that debris? It looks like...hey, it's my letters to the editor, and my movie script submissions, and all the ideas I've ever put in the suggestion box.'

'Just as I suspected. The wormhole is located behind the Dog Star.'

"As an astronomer, this discovery heralds a new golden age of academic fervor for mathematicians and astrophysicists across the globe. As a Sagittarius, I'm fucked."

Astronomers studying the 26 moons of Uranus...

'He runs this firm like a ship.'

Scientist drinking night sky through telescope

Venice 1609: Someone plays a practical joke on Galileo. . .

'Hey, guys, come over here. I just discovered the telescope.'

'The last thing I said to him was: 'whatever you do, don't look at the sun through this thing'.'

'No, I'm not into astronomy. That telescope is for you to see your new parking spot.'

Astronomers using giant telescope to light fires.

'We discovered a massive dust and gas cloud which is either the beginning of a new star of just a hell of a lot of dust and gas.'

New Images from Hubble

A very young mariner. A young mariner. An ancient mariner.

The Moon Falls Out of the Sky.

Little guy using telescope to see past a big guy blocking his view in the crowd,

Les Bons Bourgeois - Looking in vain for the planet Leverrier

Entry level astronomer...

"Since you've been watching me on my planet, I was hoping you could tell me where I lost my phone."

"Oh, oh - looks like a blue shift."

Buffering

Solar Range.

'I've had a report of a peeping tom.'

"All I get is a bird's eye view."

Alien surrendering to huge telescope because it looks like a gun