Telescope Tinkerers Gifts

'I doubt if Jupiter is really three weeks ahead of schedule -- try cleaning your glasses.'

"If you squint, you can see Uranus!"

Pounding speeds up the computer.

Robot Parts $5

Robots search for people's personal information in the cloud.

'My penmanship has really improved since I got a laser printer.'

"I'm grounded. I forgot to delete the car's computer history after we did those crop circles on Earth."

The Computer Bore

'First you forget logarithms. Then you forget how to do long division. Then the multiplication table begins to go...'

"Lemme know when you’re ready to howl at it."

"I imagined the Library of Congress would be much bigger."

'What we've got here is a failure to communicate.'

"This software will cut my workload in half, so I purchased two."

Needed Inventions: An Airbag To Protect The Viewer Against A Really Lousy Program.

"If you're smart enough to design a robot to do your homework, then you're certainly smart enough to just do your homework."

Drool Marks

"...and before you embark upon life's journey, could one of you help me with my laptop?"

"Once I connect with my server over there, I can turn my lamp on and off."

'A computer is only as good as the people who are employed to replace the people who were made redundant by the computer.'

Early cyborg.

"He's on screen saver. Just tap him."

Gadget geek.

'I solved the problem of dead zones on my cell phone with a personal satellite,'

'Hon? Did your phone go dead? Hello?'

"Siri, who’s the fairest of them all?"

Ralph spent his Sundays in the park gathering nuts.

Mouse in a hamster wheel.

The Not-So Smart Meter

"It's a smart hamper that sucks up clothes. My mom claims I leave my clothes on the floor, so she has it follow me wherever I go."

'I think I see what's making your funny noise.'

Bicycle sat nav.

'I'm no expert, but I think we're a little behind when it comes to the latest industry technology.'

"The man who invented autocorrect died from the corona vibrator."

"No, it's not a bug. Since you keep losing you phone, I purchased you a phone-locating drone."

'Ugh! Another oil puddle in the living room – bad robot dog!'