Science Tinkerer Gifts

'I failed science.'

Pounding speeds up the computer.

Robot Parts $5

Robots search for people's personal information in the cloud.

'My penmanship has really improved since I got a laser printer.'

The Computer Bore

"I'm grounded. I forgot to delete the car's computer history after we did those crop circles on Earth."

'First you forget logarithms. Then you forget how to do long division. Then the multiplication table begins to go...'

"I imagined the Library of Congress would be much bigger."

'What we've got here is a failure to communicate.'

"This software will cut my workload in half, so I purchased two."

Needed Inventions: An Airbag To Protect The Viewer Against A Really Lousy Program.

'You know too much,'

Drool Marks

"...and before you embark upon life's journey, could one of you help me with my laptop?"

"If you're smart enough to design a robot to do your homework, then you're certainly smart enough to just do your homework."

"Once I connect with my server over there, I can turn my lamp on and off."

"I thought you were making a coffee table?"

'A computer is only as good as the people who are employed to replace the people who were made redundant by the computer.'

Early cyborg.

The Not-So Smart Meter

'Hon? Did your phone go dead? Hello?'

"He's on screen saver. Just tap him."

Gadget geek.

Mouse in a hamster wheel.

"Siri, who’s the fairest of them all?"

'I solved the problem of dead zones on my cell phone with a personal satellite,'

"It's a smart hamper that sucks up clothes. My mom claims I leave my clothes on the floor, so she has it follow me wherever I go."

Bicycle sat nav.

'I think I see what's making your funny noise.'

"No, it's not a bug. Since you keep losing you phone, I purchased you a phone-locating drone."

Congratulations on your retirement!

'Roger's busy making a cat-flap in the kitchen.'

"The man who invented autocorrect died from the corona vibrator."

'I'm no expert, but I think we're a little behind when it comes to the latest industry technology.'